


A Flame in Your Heart

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood Kink, Breathplay, Choking, Dry Sex, Face Slapping, Handcuffs, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Name-Calling, Rough Sex, Violent Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: After an extremely passionate night of sex, Jeremy doesn’t exactly expect to meet Ryan again. He especially doesn’t expect Ryan to be pointing a gun at him.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Dedicated to J who wanted a cop au with less angst. I did my best. Thanks for your continued support!
Comments: 125
Kudos: 127





	1. Chapter 1

_“They didn't know it when they turned me loose-_

_“I shot the sheriff and I slipped the noose-“_

Jeremy’s eyes were suddenly drawn to the bar’s little stage where a band was performing.

_“The law ain't never been a friend of mine-_

_“I would kill again to keep from doing time-_

_“You should never ever trust my kind-“_

Jeremy focused on the singer, a tall man with long hair.

_“I'm a wanted man-_

_“I got blood on my hands-_

_“Do you understand-?_

_“I'm a wanted man!”_

His blue eyes landed on Jeremy as the second verse started.

_“I took the pistol and I shot out all the lights-_

_“I started running in the middle of the night-“_

Jeremy was breathless, finding himself moving toward the man. 

_“The law ain't never been a friend of mine-_

_“I would kill again to keep from doing time-_

_“You should never ever trust my kind-“_

The singer was grinning as Jeremy stopped in front of the stage. He winked at him. Jeremy blushed.

_“I'm a wanted man-_

_“I got blood on my hands-_

_“Do you understand-?_

_“I'm a wanted man!”_

Jeremy swallowed, his heart stuck in his throat.

_“I'm a wanted man-_

_“I got blood on my hands-_

_“Do you understand-?_

_“I'm a wanted man!”_

The man crouched down to almost eye-level with Jeremy. Jeremy could see the black eyeliner more clearly now. Could see how his eyes sparkled even in the dim bar lights. He put his fingers under Jeremy’s chin and lifted his head.

_“If you ask me to change-_

_“I don't know, if I can-_

_“I'll always be, who I am-“_

He brushed his knuckles over Jeremy’s cheek.

_“I'm a wanted man-_

_“I got blood on my hands-_

_“Do you understand?_

_“I'm a wanted man!”_

He stood back up, turning back to his band mates.

_ “I'm a wanted man- _

_ “I got blood on my hands- _

_ “Do you understand-? _

_ “I'm a wanted man!” _

He slipped the microphone back in the stand, still grinning.

_“I'm a wanted man-_

_“I got blood on my hands-_

_“Do you understand-?_

_“I'm a wanted man!”_

Jeremy shook himself as the music stopped playing and blushed crimson. _Jesus fucking_ _Christ, could my thirst have been any more obvious?!_ He covered his eyes with one hand, completely embarrassed. He pulled out his wallet and left a tip in the jar on the stage before turning to go back to the bar. 

“Hey, fun-size!” The singer called out to him.

Jeremy’s embarrassment knew no limits as he turned back around. The singer hopped down off the stage.

“Hey, our set is over,” he informed him, “You wanna come back to mine?”

“M-me??” Jeremy choked.

The singer laughed, stepping closer.

“Anyone else around here look as fun-sized as you?” He teased, “Yes, you. You were begging pretty hard with your eyes just now.”

Jeremy covered his face miserably.

“My name’s Ryan,” The man added, “I’d really like to hear you screaming it under me.”

“J-Jesus!” Jeremy hissed, unable to look up, “You’re so blunt!”

“Hey, yolo, right?” The man laughed.

Jeremy peeked up at him, giving him a flat look.

“Jeremy,” he mumbled.

“Well, Jeremy, let’s go,” Ryan coaxed, “We have an appointment with my mattress.”

Jeremy let himself be dragged back into the “backstage” area that was little more than a tiny room with a few couches. The rest of the band was inside.

“-ing you!” The drummer was squawking, “It’s Pubert!”

He had a British accent and long golden brown hair. Ryan gave Jeremy a “wait here” gesture and disappeared into what Jeremy assumed was a bathroom. 

“It’s not fucking Pubert!” The bassist sneered.

A beanie was flattening his curly hair and his brown eyes looked fiery behind his glasses. Jeremy’s own eyes narrowed. _I know this guy, don’t I?_

“I’m not saying shit,” the only non-band member spoke up, “Gavin’s right about random shit like this.”

She was also the only woman in the room. A red head wearing a horrific Hawaiian shirt.

“We have company, fuckheads,” the guitarist grunted.

He was a heavily tattooed man with calculating blue eyes. He was wearing about what Jeremy would expect from a lead guitarist to wear, a t-shirt and jeans, but he radiated an air of leadership. He almost looked like a king on his throne with how he lounged on the couch. Jeremy waved nervously at the band all staring at him.

“H-hi,” He squeaked.

_Wow, great fucking spine you have there, Detective Dooley._ The band was giving him the once over, except for Bass who was looking at his phone.

“Fucking Pubert!” He exclaimed, startling Drums, “He was right! What the fuck?!”

“Told you!” Drums laughed triumphantly.

“Fucking Pubert!” Bass snickered, “What the fuck?!”

Ryan returned from the bathroom, now with his hair up and his eyeliner washed off. Jeremy cleared his throat nervously as he rejoined him.

“You bring your vehicle?” He asked.

Jeremy shook his head.

“Excellent,” Ryan grunted, looking over the band, “They didn’t fuck with you, did they?”

“No one fucked your toy,” Guitar grumbled, “Get the hell out of here.”

“Tsk, _manners,”_ Ryan tutted, taking Jeremy’s hand.

Jeremy waved the other as they left.

“B-bye, n-nice meeting you!” He stammered as he was pulled away.

Ryan dragged him outside to his bike which Jeremy almost creamed his jeans over. He shoved a helmet on Jeremy’s head and one on his own before they zipped out of the bar parking lot. Jeremy held close to him, heart pounding from the adrenaline. He laughed as they took a sharp turn, squeezing his hands into fists on Ryan’s leather jacket.

He giggled the faster they went and the sharper the corners they took. When they finally got to their destination, he was grinning so much his face hurt and he was rock hard in his pants. He was surprised they pulled into a hotel, but was way too horny to worry about what that might mean. 

Ryan practically ripped his clothes apart to get them off him once they were in his room. Jeremy returned the favor, shoving a hard, sloppy kiss on his mouth while they yanked their clothing away. They were both demanding and rough as they stumbled for the bed. Jeremy hit the bed on his back, seeming to signal he would be the bottom. He panicked briefly, unsure of if he was cool with that, but instead of pushing up between his legs, Ryan straddled his hips. 

He shoved the lube into Jeremy’s hand before moving up and prying his jaw open. Jeremy accepted his cock in his mouth as he fingered Ryan open. Ryan groaned, hips rocking between Jeremy’s mouth and fingers.

“Ah, Jeremy, y-your mouth,” He groaned brokenly, “Feels so good. M-more! More! I want your cock in me! Hurry!”

Jeremy moaned as he slipped another finger inside him. He cried out, tears running down his cheeks as he jerked back on Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy quickly added a third getting a choked out moan from him and more tears running down his face. He was wrecked already and Jeremy hadn’t even put his cock in him yet. 

After a moment of fingering him, Ryan suddenly slapped his hand away and shuffled back. He gripped Jeremy’s cock to guide it while lowering himself and they both groaned as he slid onto him. Jeremy’s hands ran up his thighs, but Ryan pushed them away.

His face drew up as he sank down flush with Jeremy’s pelvis. He leaned back slightly and gripped his own dick. Jeremy watched as he slowly started to move up and down, jerking himself off as he picked up speed. Jeremy could do little else but lay there while Ryan used him like a dildo. It was insanely frustrating. 

He flipped them suddenly, taking Ryan by surprise. He gripped Ryan’s cock as he thrust in him hard and quick. Ryan huffed and tried to flip back, but Jeremy’s free hand closed on his throat. He spasmed under Jeremy, moaning loudly. He growled, slapping a hand over Jeremy’s and squeezing.

“Come on, baby,” he sneered, “That the best you got?”

Jeremy’s hand tightened and he bared his teeth in a snarl. Ryan groaned, jerking as he clawed at Jeremy’s arm.

“G-give it to me,” he choked, “Come on! I l-ook like a-a princess to you? Fuck me!”

_ Smack! _

Jeremy moaned as the opened-handed blow landed on his face. He squeezed tighter as Ryan gripped his hair to yank him down. Their mouths were all teeth as Jeremy’s hips drove into Ryan. Ryan left stinging trails down his back and marks across his neck and shoulder. Jeremy kept pressure on his throat, perfectly positioned to make it feel like his air was restricted when it wasn’t actually. 

He came first, a strained sort of shout gritting out through his teeth as he shot heat deep inside Ryan who shuddered. He was not long behind him, howling as he came.

Jeremy tipped over, collapsing beside him, panting heavily. 

“Holy...fuck,” he huffed.

Ryan turned his head to grin at him.

“Hell yeah,” he agreed breathlessly.

Jeremy laughed and pressed a kiss to his shoulder before throwing an arm around him. He laid his head on Ryan’s pec and Ryan hesitated a moment before putting his hand in Jeremy’s hair. He carded his fingers through the sweaty strands and Jereny drifted off to sleep.

He wasn’t shocked when he woke up alone, but he was still disappointed. He’d sort of hoped there would be a repeat. But Ryan has only left a twenty dollar bill and a note. “For a cab. -R” How nice of him to ensure Jeremy didn’t think he was paying him for the sex. Especially not paying him only twenty bucks. That would be a very cheap fuck. 

Jeremy frowned at the twenty dollar bill. _This...this is the tip I gave him. He took it out of the jar and gave it back to me._ Jeremy chuckled, rubbing a hand over his face. _I guess he didn’t need the money._ He glanced at the alarm clock and his eyes went wide. _Shit! I’m late for work!_ He scrambled out of bed to get his clothes on. His phone was dead; his alarm hadn’t gone off.

“Fuck, I’m in trouble,” he mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this shit gets intense, but mostly less angst.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to find out how to get the new chapters early by donating. :D


	2. Chapter 2

“Dooley, you’re in trouble!” Burns shouted, “A one night stand is not a good enough reason to be late! This is Los Santos! We can’t afford to sleep in at all!”

It was unfortunate that Ryan had given him a massive mark right on his throat. Burns never would’ve known it was a one night stand that made him late. _Damnit, Ryan._ Jeremy thought it was worth getting chewed out though.

“You need to set an example,” Burns hissed, “And you were just put on FAHC’s case!”

Jeremy blinked rapidly in surprise.

“I was?” He prompted.

Burns gave him an exasperated look.

“Your damn phone is dead too, isn’t it?” He grumbled, “We texted you as soon as it was finalized. Hullum’s been breathing down my neck about getting you on board.”

Jeremy couldn’t help the smug grin that spread on his face. Burns rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get too proud,” he grunted, “He wants you because you’re the best detective still alive _and_ dumb enough to stick with the case.”

Jeremy pouted.

“We already got so few,” Burns muttered, “After Luna, everyone dropped. No one wants to become Vagabond’s next target. So _you_ are gonna do it.”

“What, I don’t get a choice?” Jeremy huffed.

“What would be your answer, Dooley?” Burns asked, scowling at him.

“Well...Yes, of course,” Jeremy mumbled.

“So let’s cut the back and forth,” Burns suggested, “From now on, you’re the on-call Fake responder.”

Jeremy sighed heavily.

“Great, so looking forward to that,” he groused, “I suppose I should go then.”

“Be sure to read their files,” Burns ordered, “Get intimate with Fake AH, you’re the last chance we got to get these assholes.”

Jeremy resisted the urge to sigh again as he left Burns’ office. Great, now he had five gangsters to chase after and probably get killed over. He’d only ever run into Mogar and he was _very_ grateful for that. He had other cases to work on as well. _I better get a damn pay raise, I swear to god._

~

It was day fucking one of his new assignment and he was staring down a black skull mask. _Fuck. My. Life._

“J-Jeremy??” Ryan’s voice called out from behind the mask.

Jeremy frowned and stared at the Vagabond for a moment, his brain restarting in an attempt to understand the information in front of him. _Ryan. Vagabond. Ryan. Vagabond. Ryan. Vagabond._

“You’re the fucking Vagabond?!” He shrieked.

Vagabond lowered his gun and tugged off the mask. _Ryan._ Jeremy just stared some more.

“What. The. Fuck.” He muttered.

“You’re a fucking pig??” Ryan returned, wrinkling his nose, “Aw, gross. I’m infected with bacon now. Goddamnit.”

He wiped his hands on his shirt as if to clean himself of Jeremy’s taint. Jeremy went red and covered his face with his hands. _Goddamnit!_ He really wanted to scream. _I fucked the fucking Vagabond! Fuck fuck fuck!_

“Well, you weren’t so bad for pork,” Ryan admitted.

Jeremy lowered his hands to glare at him as Ryan shrugged. 

“Had I known though,” he continued, “You wouldn’t have made it out alive.”

Jeremy swallowed nervously. There was no way he could fight the fucking Vagabond, even if it _was_ Ryan. _Especially_ if it was Ryan. He was struggling not to openly stare at the man’s body and focus on what he was saying. Ryan made a frustrated noise and started stalking towards him. Jeremy stumbled backward, bumping into the front bumper of his squad car. Ryan gripped his shirt and lifted Jeremy to his toes.

“Are you listening, piggy?!” He demanded, “I’m talking to you!”

Jeremy swung at his head. Ryan blocked it, but missed the uppercut to his ribs that winded him. As he turned, bowing over his stomach, Jeremy twisted him, getting one arm around his throat. Ryan choked, slamming an elbow into his ribs. Jeremy grunted, but squeezed tighter. Ryan clawed at his arm in panic for a moment before gripping it and bending, throwing Jeremy over his head to the pavement. 

Jeremy huffed, the air knocking out of him as he landed and rolled to avoid Ryan smashing a boot into his face. He stumbled to his feet and launched at him, tackling him around his middle and slamming him over the hood of his squad car.

“Fuck!” Ryan wheezed, grabbing the shoulders of Jeremy’s coat, “You fucking piece of shit pig whore!”

He yanked him upwards, smashing his mouth against his. Jeremy pressed back, hopping up on his bumper to shove up between his legs. Ryan bit his lip so hard it bled into his mouth as he yanked Jeremy’s pants open. Jeremy went for his as well as he broke off to sink his teeth in Ryan’s neck. Ryan moaned as his hand closed around Jeremy’s cock.

“Come on, piggy,” he growled, “Give it to me like you did last night. Make me splatter my cum all over your fucking squad car.”

“Shut the hell up, slut,” Jeremy hissed back, hand now closed around Ryan’s dick, “I‘m not taking orders from a fucking criminal.”

“Bet you’d take my cock though,” Ryan sneered, jerking up into Jeremy’s fist.

“In your dreams, bitch,” Jeremy snarled.

He gripped Ryan’s hair and yanked his head back to mirror the mark on his own throat. Ryan groaned, the sound vibrating against Jeremy’s mouth. His free hand gripped at Jeremy’s shoulder as shudders ran through him. Tears sprang to his eyes.

“H-hurry!” He cried, “Jeremy! I wanna put it in my mouth, hurry!”

_Fuck._ Jeremy doubled his efforts to get him off and Ryan let out a long moan as he came over Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy pulled back, dragging Ryan with him. Ryan dropped to the pavement and Jeremy gripped his face, forcing his mouth to pop open. Ryan growled as Jeremy shoved his cock in and choked as he didn’t stop. He clawed at Jeremy’s jeans, moaning around him as Jeremy fucked his face about as hard as he’d fucked his ass. 

He groaned out a string of curse words as he came and pushed back so Ryan could breathe. Ryan turned to the side and retched up the jizz in the back of his throat. Jeremy shuddered, dropping down in front of him. Ryan spat, then wiped his mouth before turning to look at Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting a furious look, but got a pleased, almost smug grin instead. 

“You just jerked off LS’ most wanted,” He taunted.

“You’re under arrest, asshole,” Jeremy huffed, trying to catch his breath.

“Ha! You couldn’t even if you wanted to,” Ryan dismissed, “You go all domestic afterwards. You wanna cuddle.”

Jeremy went red and looked away.

“You wanna cuddle the Vagabond!” Ryan mocked, laughing.

Jeremy covered his burning face. _Why? Why is this happening to me?_ Ryan reached forward and snatched the front of his clothes, pulling him forward between his legs. He put his arms around him and held him close to his chest. Jeremy blushed, burying his face in Ryan’s shirt. 

“Pretty cute for a little piglet,” Ryan teased.

”Pretty cute for a fucking psycho,” Jereny fired back. 

He wondered just how stupid he could possibly get. Ryan just laughed and buried his nose in Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy could feel his smile against his scalp. _I’m in so much fucking trouble!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun times had by all.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for nothin but net.


	3. Chapter 3

“Dooley, we got three Fakes on Carson,” Barb’s voice crackled over the radio, “Queen, Prince, and Knight.”

Roadkill, Golden Boy, and Mogar. It was going to take Jeremy time to get used to the court names Barb used on the radio. He was grateful beyond all belief that _Jester_ hadn’t been called in. Two days since he’d fucked Vagabond’s mouth against his fucking squad car. Two _blissfully_ quiet days Jeremy had been buried in his previous cases, not even _thinking_ about Fake AH.

“Dooley?” Barb prompted.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, “I’m on it.”

“There’s three cars on them now,” She informed him, “Good luck.”

_Fuck you,_ Jeremy wanted to answer. He didn’t nor did he smash his head into his steering wheel like really wanted to. He reconsidered it when he caught up to the three Fakes and had a sudden realization slam into him. _Fakes. Five members. Two younger guys, two older guys, and one woman. Now why was that familiar?_

“Fuck my ass,” he grunted as he glared at the two bikes carrying the three pains in his ass.

He thought it’d be a bit risky to let them see him. What if they recognized him and called Ryan? Jeremy shuddered. He could fight Ryan, but he had a feeling he’d either die or be very humiliated. The fact that this gave him a boner just cemented the truth that he needed to stay as far from Ryan as possible.

He'd been doing his damndest to just ignore the fact he knew the Vagabond’s name and face, as well as that he was a singer. _I should be tracking him down!_ But it just felt so... _wrong_ to use that information. He sighed and picked up his radio, trying to focus on the three in front of him. _Whatever happens, happens._

“Okay, guys, we’re gonna box these fuckers,” he muttered, “I’ll take left.”

“Like hell, Dooley!” One of the three cars answered, “I’m not gettin’ shot, fuck you!”

The other two agreed.

“Then fuck off! You’re all fucking useless!” Jeremy snapped. 

He drifted left and slammed the gas. Roadkill turned to look at him. Even with her eyes behind the dark visor, he could feel her sizing him up. He flicked on the overhead speaker.

“Pull the fuck over,” he ordered, “Or I’m running you off the road!”

Her shoulders shook like she was laughing and she turned to the others. He swerved into her and she nearly crashed into the other bike. He cracked the window to hear what they were saying.

“Fucking insane?!” Gold was shrieking, “Pull the fuck over!”

“Like hell!” Mogar growled.

He drifted closer to Jeremy’s squad car. 

“Michael! Just pull over!” Roadkill shouted at him, “You’re going to get us killed!”

“Fuck no-“

Jeremy interrupted by swerving into the bike, getting close enough the car touched their legs. Gold squawked, letting out a tirade of what Jeremy thought were words. The bikes slowed down and he followed suit, pulling over behind them. _Okay, now what?!_

“Dooley! Tell me you didn’t go Rambo!” Burns’ voice hissed on the radio.

Jeremy flipped the speaker off.

“Not by choice you fucking dildo!” He shouted, “I’ve just pulled them over, send back up. And I’m getting a pay raise after this or I swear to god, I’m joining their side!”

He dropped the radio and grabbed the shotgun from the passenger seat. He climbed out, aiming the gun at them. They all got off the bikes, removing their helmets. 

“I’m gonna spray and pray if you even _think_ about it,” he growled, “So sit tight until one of us gets backup.”

“You don’t want to take that bet, Dooley,” Roadkill warned, “Our backup won’t just cuff you and throw you in the back of a car.”

_How the hell does she know my name?!_ Also, could he convince Ryan to do just that instead of killing him? Though handcuffs really did _not_ need to be introduced.

“It’s a risk I’ve got to take,” Jeremy snarled, “I’ve just been appointed your fucking babysitter.”

The three glanced at each other.

“You’re lead detective for AH now?” Gold spoke up, “What happened to Luna?”

Jeremy squinted at them.

“Killed in his bed,” He grunted, “We presumed by one of you fucks, but the looks on your faces tells me you didn’t know.”

The other two turned to Gold accusingly. He put up his hands.

“I’ve not checked in awhile!” He huffed, “I’ve been busy w-“

The roar of a bike interrupted him and Jeremy internally groaned. _God. Fucking. Damnit._ He sighed. _Fucking useless police force. I really am Rambo._ Ryan pulled up behind his squad car and hopped off. Jeremy didn’t turn to watch his approach. Each crunch of his boots was like another nail in his coffin. Vagabond was too quick, turning would do nothing but get him a broken bone or five. If he fired, he’d definitely get his throat slit.

“Guess you really can’t count on pigs for shit these days,” he muttered.

Ryan’s knife pressed to his throat. He wanted to scream. 

“Drop it, piglet,” he growled.

“My pants or the gun?” Jeremy blurted before he could stop himself.

Gold and Mogar snorted, trying to stifle laughter. The blade pressed harder and Jeremy felt a tiny trickle of warm blood roll down his throat. He swallowed and dropped the gun, putting up his hands.

“G, take my bike,” Ryan ordered, tossing his keys, “I always wanted to steal a squad car.”

Ryan pressed up to him, reaching around him to take his weapons off his belt. Jeremy had a feeling it was an excuse to rub his boner against him. _Damn, he’s hard as fuck._ He took Jeremy’s cuffs as the others left. 

“Th-that’s really not necessary,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan yanked his arms down behind his back, cuffing them tightly.

“You think I don’t know that?” He whispered in his ear, “Trust me, I’m fully aware you’ll willingly take whatever I give you.”

Jeremy shoved his cuffed hands into his stomach and slammed his head back. Ryan wheezed and grunted, but caught his leg as he swung it back toward his side. He yanked, sending Jeremy to the ground with a sharp “oof” puffing out of him. He tried to scramble back, but Ryan’s boot pinned his face against the concrete. He moaned loudly as the rubber ground against his face.

“You staying or going?” Ryan panted.

He was asking for consent. 

“Going,” Jeremy snarled around his boot.

Ryan stepped off his face and grabbed the front of his shirt, hauling him up. He dragged him to his squad car and shoved him in the back. Jeremy had just enough time to finally hear distant sirens before they’d zipped away.

“For the love of fuck, Dooley! Answer!” Burns’ voice barked through the radio, “If you’re fucking dead, I’m suspending you, you piece of shit! _Dooley!”_

“Dooley can’t come to the phone right now,” Ryan growled into the radio, “He’s currently trying not to piss me off by staying quiet in the back.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“Vagabond,” Burns muttered, “What do you want?”

“I want to know why Dooley is here and not Luna,” Ryan sneered.

The line was quiet a moment. Ryan frowned at the radio.

“He’s dead,” Burns finally answered, “Killed in his bed. Throat slit. You can see why I’m surprised you didn’t know this.”

Ryan dropped the radio and smacked a hand against the steering wheel. Jeremy frowned. What the hell was their deal with Luna? They all reacted so weirdly. Ryan picked the radio back up. 

“I’ll release Dooley when I’m done with him,” He snarled, “Depending on how good he is, it might even be in one piece. You put him on Luna’s case and figure out who the _fuck_ murdered him or next time I grab an officer, I won’t be as lenient.”

He ripped the com free and tossed it to the passenger seat before slamming his fist into the radio. 

“Dude!” Jeremy shouted, “You didn’t have to do that! It has an off button, asshole!”

“Sorry,” Ryan muttered.

Jeremy frowned at him, startled that he got an apology. He seemed genuinely upset about Luna. _Was Luna dirty?_ Maybe they were just pissed someone _else_ took him out. They stopped under the overpass Jeremy had chased after him under just two days ago.

“How romantic,” he commented dryly.

“Shut the fuck up,” Ryan grunted, sliding out of the car.

He pulled out his phone and walked away from the car, obviously trying not to be heard. Unfortunately for him, Jeremy’s passenger window was still cracked. 

“Hey, I just talked to Burns...” He muttered, “Really?”

He glanced back at Jeremy.

“Oh...no, he doesn’t know,” He continued, looking away, “They think it was me...yes...I’m not sure. Maybe?...”

_Jesus, one side of a conversation is fucking useless,_ Jeremy thought. He felt sort of bad for eavesdropping anyway. _Technically he didn’t kidnap me, so this is an invasion of privacy._ He dropped his head miserably. _I went willingly to fuck the Vagabond, LS’ top cop killer. What is wrong with me?!_

“I’m...not sure,” Ryan spoke indecisively, “I _think_ he is. Why else would he stand in front of three of us with nothing but a shotgun?...Well, yes, he _is_ stupid, but I think pigs call that brave...I don’t know, Geoff, I’ve seen him twice now, what do you want from me?!”

He snapped out the last part, sounding annoyed. Jeremy cautiously peeked back up at him. _He’s talking about me? Why?_

“Whatever, I can’t decide on two meetings...” Ryan huffed, “Then you come down and meet him!...Oh, of course, sorry to fucking interrupt!”

He suddenly whirled and hucked the phone into the concrete of the overpass. Jeremy swallowed nervously as Ryan’s attention refocused on him. He stormed over to the car, yanking open the door and pulling him out. Jeremy wasn’t sure if they were going to fuck or if Ryan was just going to murder him. Ryan uncuffed him and he _really_ wasn’t sure if that supported the fucking or murdering. He yanked him around.

“Fight me,” He grunted before throwing a punch.

Jeremy almost took it to the face in his surprise, but managed to just barely lean away from it. _So we’re fucking._ He grabbed the wrist attached to the fist that had ghosted passed his nose and twisted. Ryan turned with a growl, trying to avoid getting his arm broken. Jeremy wound it up behind him and Ryan hissed as he sent an elbow into his face. 

Jeremy grunted, stumbling back as it landed hard against his cheek. His eyes watered from the force of it. Ryan turned back around and shoved him up against the car, fists tight in his coat.

“I said fight me, you little bitch,” he growled, “You’ll never catch me if you can’t fight properly.”

“Why would I need to fight when I can just fuck?” Jeremy panted.

“Not today, little piggy,” Ryan sneered.

He gripped Jeremy’s hair and dragged him to the hood of his squad car. It was still warm from the engine as he slammed Jeremy down over it. He cuffed his left hand to the rearview mirror. Jeremy yanked against the cuffs, squirming with how his arm was stretched back while he was forced onto his toes. Not to mention he was at an angle from the way the hood sloped. _Putting me where he wants me to use my ass, regardless of my comfort. Fuck._

Ryan yanked his slacks open and down out of his way. Jeremy was relieved he didn’t rip them apart. He really didn’t want to get picked up by the others with a massive rip over his ass. It would be rather obvious at that point what had occurred. Though an image of being all fucked up and clearly used sent a shudder through him.

He cried out as Ryan suddenly pushed a finger fully inside him. Stinging pain shot through his ass and he groaned. He huffed through the next few minutes of fingering, whining at the pain. He was sobbing and shaking by the time Ryan decided he was done. His arm yanked uselessly at the cuffs as his other hand clawed over the hood.

“What a whiny little bitch,” he muttered, “Can’t take a little pain? Used to little betas fucking you?”

_I’m a virgin! Well, in this regard anyway._ He screamed through clenched teeth as Ryan started fucking him. _God it hurts. It feels so fucking good._ He huffed, his sobbing eyes squeezing shut as his ass started rocking back. 

They slammed into each other with enough force to rattle Jeremy’s brain around in his skull. He let out a strangled yell around his clenched teeth as he came against the tire of his squad car. Ryan moaned as his body tightened around him. He nearly ripped a chunk of Jeremy’s hair out when he came. 

Jeremy blushed furiously. _I lost my virginity to the Vagabond! The fucking **Vagabond!**_ Ryan uncuffed him, letting his arm flop uselessly down by his side. He cleaned him off, mostly, and pulled his pants and underwear back up. 

Jeremy wobbled up to a standing position and Ryan tugged him back to the backseat. Jeremy was surprised when he crawled in and laid down beside him. _Spooning._ He was spooning the fucking Vagabond. Ryan pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and let him drift away. 

~

Jeremy woke up to an obnoxious ringtone. Ryan shifted behind him, struggling in the small amount of room until he finally just shoved Jeremy off the seat. Jeremy grunted as he landed on the floorboards.

“Asshole!” He huffed.

“Shut your mouth,” Ryan growled.

He slid from the car and closed the door, once again trapping Jeremy in the back of his own squad car. He answered the phone a few paces out and Jeremy frowned. _Wait, he threw his phone against the wall, where-?_

Jeremy patted his pockets. _That fucker stole my phone! And he’s already getting calls on it! With a different ringtone! Fucking asshole!_

“What?” Ryan grumbled, “No, he’s alive...yes.”

There was a pause and he glanced back at Jeremy.

“How bad?” He muttered.

That didn’t sound like good news. Ryan scowled, turning away.

“Fine, you got word on Luna?” He grunted.

His shoulders dropped. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” he murmured, “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

He slipped the phone back in his pocket and braced his hand on the overpass. His other hand went to his face, but being behind him, Jeremy wasn’t sure what he was doing. He looked defeated enough to be crying, but Jeremy doubted that was the case. 

He stood back up after a moment and squared off his shoulders. Jeremy looked away, not wanting him to discover he’d seen him in a vulnerable moment. He really liked his throat in one piece. Ryan opened the door and dragged him out once again. 

“I have to give you a black-eye,” he muttered, “Hold still so it only takes one hit.”

Jeremy sighed, closing his eyes to try to stop his instinct to block the hit. Ryan’s fist hit with a dizzying amount of force and Jeremy stumbled. 

“Fucking _ow,”_ he grunted.

“Thanks for your time, Officer Dooley,” Ryan joked.

_“Detective_ Dooley,” Jeremy corrected.

Ryan stepped up close to him, gripping his face in one hand.

“If you’re not better mannered next time I see you,” he warned, “I’ll fuck you ‘til you scream then leave you to jerk yourself off.”

_ Smack! _

Ryan’s head whipped to the side at the force of the slap. He paused, then turned back and shoved Jeremy up against the car, attacking his mouth more than kissing it. Jeremy pressed back eagerly, gripping at Ryan’s jacket. 

“Shouldn’t have let you fall asleep,” Ryan growled, “Coulda fucked you again. Now there’s no time. Hit me again.”

He pulled back enough for Jeremy to slap him and puffed out a moan when the blow landed.

“J-Jeremy,” He whined, tears in his eyes.

“No time, remember?” Jeremy taunted. 

Ryan whimpered, his face pulling into a pout. _Jesus fuck. Look at him. So adorable._ He huffed and kissed him again before cuffing him again and moving around him to get in the squad car. Jeremy flipped him off as he left. He just grinned in response. Jeremy was having a ~~great~~ _terrible_ day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to put this up earlierrrrr


	4. Chapter 4

“Dooley!” Barb chirped from the radio.

_Goddamnit._ He dropped his head to the steering wheel. He was in a drive-thru for coffee. He just wanted some coffee.

“Doo~leyyy~!” Barb sang.

“What?!” He snapped into the radio.

“Tsk! Grouchy!” She huffed, “King’s been spotted on his own over at the Viper Pit.”

“He has not,” Jeremy snorted, “He’s never alone.”

“He is this time!” Barb insisted, “An off-duty called it in.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows went up. He flipped on his siren and peeled out.

“Backup?” He questioned as he raced across town.

“The off-duty promised to stay,” Barb offered, “And an ambulance is standing by.”

Jeremy sighed heavily. _An ambulance is standing by. Great. Just great._ He flipped off his siren as he got closer, parking some distance away. He hesitated, touching his still bruised eye. It was significantly better after a few days, but still very noticeable. _Well, if it’s just King..._ He hopped out and walked to the club. The off-duty was waiting for him outside. They flashed their badges briefly to ensure they were on the same side.

“Dooley,” Jeremy grunted, “You have no idea how glad I am you’re here.”

“Gibson,” the man returned, “Right back at ya, buddy. I wasn’t totally sure you’d show.”

They coordinated and moved into the building. King was easy to spot, lording over the bar atop a barstool at the end. 

_“So if you need a reason-_

_“If you need a sign-“_

Jeremy froze mid-step

_“Open up your eyes-_

_“You'll see they stole your water-_

_“Turned it into wine!”_

His head turned to the stage. Sure enough, a very familiar light-haired singer was surrounded by a very familiar band.

_“Sit back, relax, begin-“_

Gibson nudged him with a raised eyebrow. Jeremy cleared his throat as he started toward King again.

_“It's too early for surrender-_

_“Too late for a prayer-_

_“We can't go to hell if we're already there!”_

Gibson moved to get behind King as Jeremy moved in front of him. 

_“They say the end is coming-_

_“And I need to prepare-_

_“We can't go to hell if we're already there!”_

Jeremy didn’t know what the hell to do. He was going to get them both killed if he tried to reveal that the others were there. 

_“It's too early for surrender-_

_“Too late for a prayer-_

_“We can't go to hell if we're already there!”_

But if he didn’t, would it turn into a shootout? Would Fake AH mow through _anyone_ to stop King from getting arrested? He needed to stop King from signaling the others.

_“They say the end is coming-_

_“And I need to prepare-_

_“We can't go to hell if we're already there!”_

Jeremy’s eyes flicked back to the band as the song finished. He got a very stupid idea. He unholstered his weapon as he drew up in front of King. King raised an eyebrow at him.

“Dooley, I presume?” He greeted.

“In the flesh, your majesty,” Jeremy returned, “Before you make any sudden movements I’d like you to see where my gun is pointed.”

King’s eyes dropped to where Jeremy’s gun was pointed at the stage.

“I see,” he spoke quietly, “You’re a crafty man, Detective Dooley.”

“Well, when you’re up against such a formidable opponent,” Jeremy grunted, “You’ve got to be a bit crafty, eh? Now I don’t know for sure, but I’m relatively certain that’s Michael, playing bass, isn’t it?”

King’s eyes were careful and cool as they calculated the possible outcomes and what all Jeremy knew.

“He goes by another name though, doesn’t he?” Jeremy pressed, raising his eyebrows.

King didn’t answer, likely trying to decide if Jeremy knew the others were also Fake AH. He slipped from the barstool and put his hands behind his back. Jeremy nodded Gibson forward and he cuffed the man. The three moved quietly through the club to the street. They got King in the car before the other shoe dropped. Jeremy whirled, pointing his gun at Ryan who was approaching from the shadows of the alleyway. 

“Gibson, don’t move!” Jeremy hissed.

Ryan was pointing his own gun at the other officer. His blue eyes seemed to flicker with recognition and he pointed his gun lower. Jeremy frowned. _They know Gibson too??_

“Let him out,” Ryan growled.

“Dooley, don’t!” Gibson grunted.

“Quiet,” Ryan ordered coldly.

Gibson went quiet, but he was silently pleading with Jeremy not to do it. He was a good guy and a good cop. Jeremy holstered his weapon and opened his squad car. He helped King out and uncuffed him. Gibson’s fists clenched, but he stayed quiet. Ryan’s gun moved to point at Jeremy.

“Now, Officer Gibson,” Ryan addressed him, “You’re going to let King cuff you or I’ll fire this gun and shoot Detective Dooley.”

Gibson immediately put his hands behind his back. 

“Dooley, come here,” Ryan added, “Nice and slow.”

Jeremy’s heart was in his throat as he walked to him, hands up. He wasn’t sure if Ryan would really do it. He turned around at Ryan’s bidding and put his hands behind his back. Ryan pressed up against him to disarm and cuff him once again. This time, Jeremy felt stupid enough to cup the man’s crotch with his cuffed hands. Ryan grunted, hips jerking against him.

“You’re eager,” He breathed in Jeremy’s ear.

Jeremy swallowed, trying not to confirm that. Ryan slipped something in his pocket as King opened the squad car door and put Gibson inside. He groped his ass roughly before King or Gibson were able to see and Jeremy bit his tongue. He was pushed in after Gibson and the door was closed. 

“Well, that could’ve gone better,” Jeremy muttered.

“Hey, we’re not dead,” Gibson offered cheerfully.

“No black-eye this time around either,” Jeremy added, “Gibson, are you up for detective soon?”

“Er, no?” Gibson answered, sounding confused.

“You should be,” Jeremy snorted, “Only officer worth a damn I’ve had on my side so far.”

Jeremy considered that as he watched Ryan and King walk away. While Jeremy had been looking into Luna’s death, he’d discovered something quite surprising for LS cops: he was totally clean. Not a single suspicious incident or even rumor about him. Fake AH didn’t kill good guy cops. Was Jeremy a good guy in their eyes? The way Ryan had pointed that gun at his head didn’t inspire confidence. 

~

Jeremy’s fingers tapped the steering wheel as he drove. This was dumb. This was really dumb. This was so colossally dumb. Jeremy’s dumb meter was broken with how dumb this was.

The thing Ryan had slipped him was a hotel key. For a nice hotel even. A hotel you went with your boyfriend not the guy you violently fucked while you called each other a little bitch. Jeremy parked and looked up at the building. _Maybe he’s just going to kill me? Is this a trap?_ He was already out of the car before he fully realized he didn’t give a fuck if it was a trap. 

As he rode the elevator, all he could think was that he really _really_ hoped it wasn’t. Or at the very least he’d get off before the trap sprung. His guts twisted. He knew he should be the one setting the trap. He should be arresting Ryan, not having absolutely mind-blowing sex with him. He was a murderer for fuck’s sake. But damn, that sex was so good.

He wasn’t sure if Ryan was even there. He’d put a time on the key, but that didn’t necessarily mean shit. He could’ve gave him the key and planted a bomb, for all Jeremy knew. He slipped the keycard in the lock and opened the door. 

Ryan _was_ there. The door was slammed closed by way of Jeremy being shoved against it. Their mouths smashed together while they scrambled to get each other’s clothes off. 

“I thought you might not come,” Ryan admitted breathlessly as they made their way to the bed.

“Aw, did you miss me?” Jeremy teased, shoving him down onto the mattress.

“In your dreams, pig,” Ryan snorted, “I already did it. Put it in me.”

He lifted and spread his knees to show off his abused asshole. Jeremy smirked as he pushed up between his legs. 

“Liar,” He taunted, “Admit you missed me.”

“Jeremy!” Ryan whined.

“Come on, baby,” Jeremy coaxed, “Just tell me you missed my cock.”

Ryan scowled, looking away. His face was bright red.

“I...I missed your cock,” he mumbled.

Jeremy grinned triumphantly as he guided himself inside him. Ryan’s head fell back and tears poured out of his eyes. 

“J-Jeremy,” he groaned, “F-feels so good.”

“I thought _I_ was the eager one?” Jeremy chuckled.

“Shut the fuck up,” Ryan moaned, “C’mon! Fuck me!”

“As you wish,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan shuddered as he began fucking into him. His hands turned to claws on Jeremy’s back, slicing through through the mostly healed ones from barely a week prior. Jeremy growled in pain and sank his teeth into Ryan’s collarbone in response. 

“R-Ry, no offense, but this foreplay was a bit tame,” he muttered breathlessly.

“You want me to-to try to fight you off?” Ryan offered.

“Y-yeah,” Jeremy groaned, “Pretend like you’re not a total whore for it.”

“Asshole!” Ryan growled. 

_ Smack! _

Jeremy moaned as Ryan slapped him. He gripped his wrist tightly, shoving it against the bed. Ryan grunted, struggling against it and shoved at his chest with his free hand. Jeremy wobbled back, but gripped that wrist too, pinning them above Ryan’s head. Ryan struggled against him, shoving with his hips, trying to buck Jeremy off him.

“Jesus, you’re heavy,” Ryan huffed, “Get off me, you fucking gorilla.”

Jeremy dropped more of his weight into him, leaning over to kiss him while he squirmed and turned his head away.

“Fuck off,” he hissed, “I don’t want your pig tongue in my mouth.”

“But you’ll take my cock in it,” Jeremy sneered in his ear as he rutted against him, “And in your ass. You’re a pork lover now, baby.”

He bit hard on Ryan’s neck and Ryan cried out. He shoved at Jeremy, renewing efforts to shake him off. 

“Y-you’re hurting me!” He sobbed, “Harder! Harder!”

Jeremy growled against his skin, driving harder into him and biting until he could taste his blood. Ryan shuddered as he swiped his tongue through the bite mark. Jeremy pulled back and freed one hand.

“Hit me,” He snarled.

_ Smack! _

“Fucking cuck,” Ryan grunted, “You call that fucking? Fuck me!”

_ Smack! _

Jeremy shoved Ryan’s legs up and Ryan shrieked, clawing at the sheets.

“J-Jeremy! S-so deep!” He cried, “F-feels so good! Unh! F-fuck! I-I wanna feel y-your cum inside me! W-wanna b-be filled up! J-Jeremy! P-please!”

Jeremy saw white when he came. _Please. Please. Please._ He slumped forward to grab Ryan’s cock as he whimpered and cried. He came quick and easy, tightening around Jeremy’s softening dick. _Please, he said. Please._ Jeremy shuddered, tipping over to flop onto the bed. 

“J-Jeremy?” Ryan whimpered, turning towards him.

He was crying still, his eyes looking hesitant and anxious. Jeremy put his arm around him and pulled him close. Ryan buried his face in Jeremy’s chest as he snuggled up closely and cried quietly. Jeremy ran his hand through his hair and rubbed circles between his shoulder blades.

“I’ve got you,” He whispered.

It almost sounded like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a totally normal and healthy relationship with no issues whatsoever. 
> 
> So anyway follow me @1stworldmutant for more poor life choices.


	5. Chapter 5

Vagabond went out of town for two weeks. Jeremy didn’t realize just how bad he’d started to crave fighting and fucking Ryan. Four incidents and he was already obsessed with him. Certainly he’d never been this rough with anyone else. With others it felt like he was always worried he’d actually hurt them. With Ryan, he could let it all out.

_What a healthy relationship._

He knew full well he was asking for trouble with this thing they had going. He spent every waking moment going back and forth in his head between cutting it off and diving deeper. _He’s a killer...he’s a killer lay too._

“Knight was just seen over in Vinewood,” Barb suddenly called through the radio, “Lucky you!”

“Barb, I hate you,” he grumbled.

“Liar!” Barb laughed.

He corrected course and flipped on his siren to speed off toward Mogar. Well, maybe he’d get to fight to release all his tension. Not that he was tense about not seeing Ryan. Why would that be a thing? 

Mogar was on a motorcycle, no surprise there. He swerved into into an alleyway and Jeremy slammed the brakes to block the entrance in case there was no exit. There wasn’t. Mogar spun the bike around as Jeremy leapt out of the car and drew his weapon. He slid over the hood and Mogar revved his engine. 

“Don’t try it!” Jeremy shouted.

Mogar smirked at him as he shot towards him. Jeremy fired at the tire, popping it and sending the bike sideways. Mogar fell on his shoulder with a grunt of pain and Jeremy approached carefully. One of Mogar’s hands was patting the ground, looking for his glasses. Jeremy flipped off the bike and pointed the gun at Mogar as he crawled out from under it.

“Just come quietly,” He muttered, “No need to fight.”

Mogar growled at him and slammed his boot up into his hands. The gun fired a split second before it was launched into the air. The bullet was embedded in the concrete next to Mogar’s ear. He shouted, slapping a hand over his ear and scrambling a second before ripping something off. A hearing aid.

“Son of a fucking bitch!” He growled, “You pork piece of shit!”

_“You_ caused that!” Jeremy snapped back.

He gripped Mogar’s arm and hauled him up. Mogar wobbled. He’d fucked up his knee when he fell it looked like. Looked dislocated. Jeremy waved his hand to get his attention.

“I can put it back in place,” he offered, “Or you can wait for an ambulance.”

“Fuck you,” Mogar grunted. 

He reached down and popped it back in place with a strangled noise. Jeremy went for his cuffs, but Mogar suddenly grabbed his shirt and shoved a glock up under his chin.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t blow your fucking brain out of your skull,” he snarled.

His eyes were squinting nearly closed trying to see Jeremy. He didn’t recognize him without his glasses. Jeremy decided to gamble hard.

“Because I’m Gibson,” He offered.

Mogar’s eyes flickered in recognition and he pulled the gun away. He huffed in annoyance. 

“Give me your keys,” he demanded, “Or I’ll hurt you regardless of your fucking name.”

He didn’t have his finger on the trigger. Jeremy made to pass the keys over, but before Mogar could take them, he slammed his free fist into the man’s jaw. He grabbed the hand with the gun when he stumbled and twisted it around behind him. Mogar moved to throw back an elbow, but Jeremy was a quick learner. He dodged the elbow and grabbed his forearm, awkwardly shoving it around to his other hand where he gripped both wrists. 

Mogar tried to jerk away from him and Jeremy kicked his injured knee, sending him to the ground with a yell. He quickly cuffed him and hauled him back up. Mogar’s knee was hurting him bad enough he stopped struggling, but Jeremy could see the man practically _vibrating_ with rage. Jeremy got him to the squad car, patted him down, and put him inside. 

He went back for the glasses and hearing aid, worried that the bullet damaged the hearing aid. He didn’t actually know how they worked. When he opened the car to give it back, he got a size ten and a half combat boot to the face. 

_ Whack! _

”You absolute shit-fucker!” He shouted at Mogar, “I was being nice you know!”

He stumbled back, going for the door, but the boot that nearly broke his nose braced against the door. The matching boot stomped towards him, but he dodged it, shoving and pinning Mogar’s injured knee against the seat. The man yelped, freezing. Jeremy huffed, leaning forward to stick the aid back in his ear and jam his glasses back on his face. Mogar frowned at him.

”What the fuck?” He grunted.

Jeremy agreed. How the hell had he ended up between Mogar’s spread knees, leaning over him? He knew why he had a boner, but that was unrelated. Mostly. _Is this just my life now?_

”Why did you get my stuff back?” Mogar demanded.

”I like cute guys with glasses,” Jeremy offered dryly, pulling back from him.

He double checked his nose before he slid back over the hood and got into the car. It wasn’t broken, but it was definitely bruised. 

“I’ll be back out within a week,” Mogar hissed at him.

“Not my department,” Jeremy muttered as he picked up the radio, “This is Dooley. I’ve just apprehended the suspect known as Mogar.”

“You did _what?!”_ Barb screeched.

Jeremy winced.

”Don’t sounds so surprised!” He snapped at her, “I’m usually successful you know!”

He flicked off the radio and reached in his glovebox for a bandage for his nose. _Fuck that hurt._

“You lied to me,” Mogar accused.

“Yeah, I like my brains in my skull,” Jeremy snorted.

He turned the car on and was glared at from the back seat as he made his way back to the station. 

~

“Day 18, Dooley,” Barb cheerfully reminded him.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up,” Jeremy growled in warning.

“You’ll do what?” Burns’ voice came over the radio next.

“Steal her lunch from the fridge,” Jeremy grunted, unperturbed by Burns’ sudden appearance.

“Hey, you have the best timing!” Barb laughed, “Guess who’s back in town?”

“Where?!” Jeremy demanded.

“Eager,” Barb teased, “Over on Prodder.”

_Right next to the overpass._ Jeremy flipped on the siren and squealed into a u-turn. He flipped down his visor mirror, brushing his fingers through his hair. He winced at his eyes. _Jesus, look at those dark circles._ His nose was healed at least. Mostly.He looked down at his suit to ensure he didn’t have any stains and looked halfway decent. He sniffed at his armpit. _Not too bad._

He flipped the siren off again when he got close to the overpass. Sure enough, there was Ryan, leaning casually on his bike like he hadn’t been absent two and a half weeks. He stood up straight as he saw Jeremy approach and smoothed down the front of his shirt. He pulled off the mask and ran a hand over his hair as Jeremy parked. 

_Is this a date? This feels like a fucking date._ Jeremy cleared his throat as he stepped out of his car. Ryan smiled as he walked closer and Jeremy found himself smiling back. He reached for him and Jeremy blushed as he cupped his cheek. 

_This is definitely a date. I’m on a date with the most wanted killer in San Andreas!_ Ryan leaned down and kissed him, pressing gently as his hand moved to hold his head. Jeremy’s worries drifted and he gripped at his shoulders, opening his mouth, inviting him in. Jeremy’s body was hot all over as Ryan pulled away.  His eyes went sharp suddenly and he pulled back further.

“Who fucked up your nose?” He demanded, hands framing Jeremy’s face.

“Er, I would’ve thought you’d know that,” Jeremy mumbled, “Mogar and I had a fight.”

Ryan’s face twisted into a scowl before it cleared into a smile.

“Did ya miss me?” He teased, caressing his cheek.

“I-I...was w-worried,” Jeremy confessed quietly.

“Have a little faith, darling,” Ryan joked, grinning at him, “I’ll always come back.”

Jeremy searched his eyes. _Do you promise?_ Despite the air of teasing Ryan was conjuring, his eyes searched him just as hard. _What are we doing, Ryan? We shouldn’t be doing this! **I** shouldn’t be doing this! _Jeremy looked down, unable to stare any more, unable to bear thinking about what _exactly_ this was. They had one thing at the very least and that was something they could understand, something they couldn’t fuck up.

“You’re under arrest,” Jeremy grunted.

“Ha! Just try it, Detective Dooley,” Ryan snorted.

Jeremy launched into him, smashing his mouth on his as they toppled to the ground. Ryan’s fist tightened in his hair while he blocked Jeremy’s swing, gripping his wrist tightly. He flipped them, pushing Jeremy into the pavement, pinning him down with his hips. He rolled against him as Jeremy broke his hold on his wrist and rolled them back. 

He pulled off Ryan’s mouth to bite at his throat, keeping him pinned by one hand on his shoulder. He fumbled for his cuffs, which Ryan snatched before he could use them and tossed far away from them. 

“Come on, baby,” He groaned, “You got more than that, don’t you?”

“Shut it,” Jeremy growled against his skin, “You’re _definitely_ under arrest after this.”

Ryan laughed as Jeremy opened his jeans. He pulled back and flipped him, shoving his hand between his shoulder blades. He tugged upwards on Ryan’s waistband, getting his ass in the air. Before he he could yank his jeans down, Ryan grabbed them with a shaky hand. Jeremy was half annoyed, half worried as Ryan looked at him over his shoulder with teary eyes. 

“J-Jeremy, I-I...” He whimpered, “D-Don’t laugh...”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him and he squeezed his eyes closed as he let go of his jeans. He buried his face in his arms and Jeremy was thoroughly confused. He tugged his jeans and underwear down to his knees and things became clear. He covered his mouth, shaking in an effort to contain himself. Ryan was wearing a butt plug. 

“I...w-wanted to be ready,” he mumbled into his arms.

Jeremy nearly came in his pants. He stood abruptly, gripping the back of Ryan’s collar to haul him up and dragged him to his squad car. Ryan stumbled as he was pulled along, whining at the sudden change. Jeremy shoved him into the back seat and climbed in after him.

“J-Jeremy?” Ryan mumbled, “Wh-what’s going on?”

“Well, I’m not gonna fuck you on the pavement,” Jeremy muttered, shoving his legs up, “Not when you’ve been such a good boy.”

Ryan covered his blushing face as Jeremy took a hold of the plug. _Damn, that’s pretty big, actually._ He tugged it lightly and pushed it back in. Ryan shuddered as Jeremy repeated the action, fucking him with the toy. 

“Jeremy!” He panted, gripping at the leather seat, “I-I...I want it in me! I want y-you to fuck me!”

“What, is your toy not enough, baby?” Jeremy taunted.

“N-no! N-need you!” Ryan cried, body rocking, “Jeremy, please!”

_Please._ Jeremy yanked the plug out and fumbled with his pants. He turned Ryan sideways to get his long legs out of the way and pushed into him, groaning. Ryan reached for him, crying softly and their hands found each other. 

Jeremy laced his fingers through Ryan’s as he rocked back and forth. He stared at Ryan’s drawn up, wet face as he thrust into him, their hands clasped together. His free hand caressed his cheek. Ryan’s eyes cracked open, a fresh wave of hot tears pouring out.

“I’ve got you,” Jeremy whispered again.

He leaned over him, pinning his hand to the door above his head and gripping his thigh tightly. Ryan groaned.

“C’mon!” He huffed, “I know you got better than that!”

“Bitchy,” Jeremy growled as his hips slammed hard against Ryan’s ass, “What’d you do the last 18 days, whore? H-How’d you deal with what a horny little bitch y-you are?”

Ryan blushed crimson, looking away. Jeremy grinned. 

“Aw, d-did you play with yourself?” He teased, “Thinkin’ about me g-givin’ it to you, huh? How much did you stuff in your ass tryin’ to get as f-fucked up as I make you?”

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering. He held up his free hand and squeezed it into a fist. Jeremy groaned, gripping his thigh tighter.

“Fuckin’ _Christ_ you’re a slut,” He panted.

“Sh-Shut up!” Ryan stuttered, opening his eyes to glare at him, “J-just fuck me harder!”

_ Smack! _

Jeremy moaned as he was slapped and leaned forward to drive harder into him. He let go of his thigh to grip the edge of the seat and Ryan gasped.

“Oh, f-fuck, fuck!” He cried out, “R-right there! J-Jeremy! Unh, it feels so g-good!”

His hand tightened on Jeremy’s and he reached down to jerk himself off.

“A-almost there, baby,” Jeremy grunted, “Y-you gonna wait for me like a good b-boy?”

“Y-Yes, hurry!” Ryan sobbed, “P-please, I wanna be y-your good boy!“

_Please. Your good boy._ Jeremy thought for sure something was wrong with his vision as it went blurry. His thrusts went erratic and his ears rang as a tremor pulsed through him. He yelped, slamming into Ryan sharply as he came. Ryan tightened around him with a soft cry. 

Jeremy slumped forward as his body trembled. He blinked heavily, trying to get his vision back as he fumbled for the butt plug he dropped on the seat. He pulled out of Ryan’s ass and pushed it back in place. A tremor went through Ryan and he moaned quietly. Jeremy located his tissues next to clean Ryan and the seat.

“J-Jeremy,” He whispered, voice shaky.

“I’ve got you,” Jeremy repeated as he pulled his pants up, “I’m right here.”

He crawled in behind him, pulling him into his chest. He put his hand over his heart and rubbed his palm in a circle. Ryan put a trembling hand over his and puffed out a sigh of relief. Jeremy pressed his cheek to his shoulder blade.

“J-Jeremy, the...the door,” Ryan squeaked.

Jeremy looked down past where their legs were tangled together. The door was closed. 

“Shit.”

~

When Jeremy was picked up a few hours later, hogtied in his own trunk, he truthfully told his associates that it was Vagabond that smashed the door to pieces. He just failed to mention he was an accomplice to this crime. He also didn’t talk about the wad of tissues in his pocket covered in Vagabond jizz. Or how he’d desperately humped the carpet in his trunk after being manhandled, hogtied, and duct taped over his mouth. He supposed he should actually be grateful he didn’t succeed in jizzing in his pants. That might’ve been a bit noticeable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re welcome. 👈👈😏


	6. Chapter 6

Jeremy groaned as he heard his phone ringing. He slapped at his nightstand until he found it and brought it to his face. _Burns._ He answered.

“Do-“

“Get up,” Burns grunted, “We have a hostage situation. The Fakes won’t talk to anyone but you.”

Jeremy blinked heavily as he sat up. _It’s my fucking day off, you tools._

“Alright, send me the address,” he muttered, “I’ll just take my car.”

He got up and into work clothes as well as he could, sluggish and utterly exhausted. He nearly fell asleep again as he got in his car. The last week had been pretty demanding. He’d been all over Los Santos tracking dead ends in Luna’s case. 

Everything at the scene was useless. There was no clue as to who done it. Of course the biggest suspect was the Vagabond, but even then, there was no real evidence that he’d done it. It was all assumption based on his usual MO. And Jeremy knew for certain he _hadn’t,_ based on his reaction and the reaction of his crewmates. They hadn’t even realized he was dead. Too busy working on something rather major.

As Jeremy pulled onto the scene, he realized _this_ was the something major. There were cops everywhere, blocking off the street and running about. There were a few detectives doing their best to stay out of sight and swat was on the scene as well. And the building was the fucking courthouse.

“Well, fuck me, I guess,” Jeremy muttered as he parked.

He looked to the building. All the windows were boarded up some how. _Some sort of metal shutters?_ There was also a barrier of sorts around the front doors. Speaking of front doors, they’d spray painted a dick on them. Jeremy covered his mouth with his hand, snorting as he tried to stop from laughing. _Fucking assholes._

His laughter cut off as he was reminded of the _Thing._ He’d missed Ryan that week. He’d actually missed him. He kept the Fake response channel open constantly, but they’d apparently been preparing for this job. Not a single Fake call went through.

He needed to stop this _Thing._ He knew this, but damn if Ryan didn’t know exactly what to do to get him going. Though that was hardly a feat. Jeremy got hard any time he fought with someone halfway decent. 

The difference was that Ryan, unlike the others Jeremy fought, _also_ liked it. He was _also_ getting hot when they fought.  And most of the time when they saw each other, they were fighting by necessity ( _Because he’s a literal murderer!_ Jeremy reminded himself.). They were basically forced to do the foreplay, so it wasn’t really a surprise that it ended in sex. He rubbed his face tiredly as he got out of his car. _Whatever happens, happens._

He was set upon as soon as he flashed his badge at the barrier. The officer that led him through looked like he was going to pass out from how relieved he was to see him. He whistled, _actually whistled,_ to one of the others who perked up and immediately rushed towards him. 

“Detective Dooley, sir!” They snapped off, “This way please! Captain Burns is waiting for you!”

The group of detectives gave him a pained, pitying sort of look as he entered the surveillance van. He wanted to flip them off. _Do your fucking job if you feel so bad!_ Burns waved him over and he shuffled past the tech in the small space. 

“Sorry, excuse me,” he muttered as he bumped them.

“No problem, Jeremy,” the tech answered.

“Dooley, you took your sweet time getting here,” Burns grunted as he sat down, “Did you put on makeup, what the fuck? You still look as ugly.”

“I was asleep, asshole,” Jeremy grumbled, “It’s my day off, you fuckwit. The first since I got on Fake duty.” 

“Ah shit, I forgot,” Burns grunted, “Forgot where I gave a fuck. Now listen.”

_Asshole._ He nodded to the tech who turned on a video recording of inside the courthouse. FAHC was standing in front of the security camera, wearing their masks. 

“Pause, please,” Jeremy requested.

The tech paused it. Jeremy leaned in, squinting. They didn’t wear the masks unless it was for something major that would definitely be televised. But something else was bothering him. 

“That’s not Golden Boy,” he muttered, pointing him out, “His hair is too short. His hair is as long as R-er, what’s his name? Vagabond’s.”

“Did you just blank on Vagabond?” Burns snorted.

_Nope. I almost used his real name._

“I’m tired, okay?” He huffed, “Sorry, please play it again.”

The tech played it and Jeremy watched King give a wave to the camera.

“Hello, LSPD,” he greeted cheerfully, “Long time, no see.”

“Wish it were longer,” Jeremy grumbled.

“The Fake Achievement Hunter Crew would like to put a little show on for you,” King continued, “We’ll be having audience participation from these folks.”

FAHC stood aside to show three judges kneeling on the ground, tied and taped up. The tech paused the video before he could ask. He leaned forward, squinting.

“Ah, gross,” he muttered, wrinkling his nose, “I have to bargain for those fucks?”

“Watch it, Dooley,” Burns warned.

“You know what, Burns?” Jeremy snapped, turning to look at him, _“You_ fucking watch it! No one else in San Andreas was willing to take on FAHC, so why don’t you recall why the fuck it is I’m here? And yeah, maybe I _chose_ it, but I also thought literally _anyone_ would be backing me up! I am the last line of defense, so how about you watch what you bitch about?!”

He turned back to the video.

“Play it, please,” He grunted.

The video began to play again as King walked around behind the judges.

“Eenie meenie minie moe,” He chirped, “Catch a bigot by the toe.”

The judges were whimpering and shaking.

“These three have been getting away with a lot,” King commented, “A lot of bullshit in _my_ city. Well, I’m sick of it. They will pay, one way or another. Now we need one more participant from our audience. One Detective Jeremy Dooley is invited inside our stage. Should he come forth, he may just save their lives.”

Jeremy sighed heavily, rubbing his face tiredly. 

“Do I have time for coffee?” He grunted.

“Nope.”

“Great.”

He stood back up and headed to the back of the van.

“Dooley, what are you gonna do?” Burns demanded as he followed him.

“I’m going to do my best to save some not so innocent lives,” Jeremy grumbled as he took his coat off.

“You don’t have a plan?!” Burns growled, “Are you crazy?”

Jeremy dropped his weapons on the coat and loosened his tie before taking off his suit jacket and dropped that as well. 

“Burns, I _do_ have a plan,” He muttered as he pushed the door open, “I’m gonna go in and listen to the King of Los Santos and hope he doesn’t kill me.”

He jumped out and rolled up his sleeves as he started for the courthouse doors. _Let’s see if I can’t keep my life for one more day._ He hopped the barrier and moved to the door, which opened at his approach. The crowd of cops were whispering behind him as he put up his hands and stepped inside.

He definitely didn’t expect to get a gentle kiss as soon as the door closed while his eyes were adjusting to the dim light. He smiled against Ryan’s mouth and dropped his hands to his chest. Then he recalled where they were and quickly pushed back.

“Th-the cameras,” he mumbled, glancing around.

_What the hell am I doing?! This is the fucking Vagabond! Oh god! Burns just saw that!_

“They’re off,” Ryan assured him.

Jeremy puffed out a tired, relieved sigh. 

“Do you want to see my ticket for the show?” He muttered dryly.

Ryan laughed, eyes sparkling.

“I’m not the ticket ripper,” he joked, “I‘m your escort.”

“Kinky.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, chuckling fondly. Jeremy blushed at the affectionate face he was showing. His chest squeezed. _I missed you,_ he wanted to say. _We should stop,_ he thought he probably _should_ say. He cleared his throat.

“So...Mr. Vagabond,” he spoke quietly, “Would you care to take me to your leader?”

Ryan grinned at him, a bit wildly and pulled his mask down from where it was sitting on top of his head. 

“Right this way, Detective Dooley,” He grunted gruffly, gripping one of Jeremy’s biceps, “I think you’ll enjoy the show.”

“Some how, I doubt that _very_ much,” Jeremy snorted as he was led through the metal detectors.

They didn’t go off, despite the AK on Ryan’s back and the handgun on his hip. _Interesting._ The whole lobby was still and quiet, as though it had simply been turned off. The metal shutters looked even more impressive on the inside, though the image was lost somewhat with all the dicks drawn on them. _What the fuck?_ Jeremy wondered, stifling laughter.

“I see you guys drew some self-portraits,” he joked.

Ryan huffed, sounding annoyed.

“Gold painted them on the wrong side,” he grumbled, “Fucking idiot.”

Jeremy puffed out a surprised laugh and shook his head.

“You know, you guys are making it _real_ difficult not to like you,” he muttered.

Ryan glanced at him as they stopped outside a set of double doors.

“Didn’t you...already like me?” He murmured.

“I like your ass,” Jeremy joked tiredly.

He immediately regretted saying it, but Ryan just laughed. 

“I like yours too,” he admitted.

He let go of his arm to grope said ass. Jeremy jumped, blushing furiously. 

“Hey, we got a gig tomorrow,” Ryan suddenly brought up, “Golden Roost. 10pm.”

He tugged the mask up to put his lips near Jeremy’s ear.

“Don’t be late,” he whispered.

Then he pressed a kiss gently in front of his ear. Jeremy shuddered, face burning.

“W-wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he breathed.

“Good boy,” Ryan cooed before pulling back.

He put the mask back in place and took out cuffs, cuffing Jeremy’s wrists together in front of him. Presumably in front to hide the boner he’d popped. When they pushed through the doors, they were the Vagabond and Detective Dooley. 

It _was_ sort of thrilling, Jeremy thought, in a weird way. Having a secret love affair. Like Romeo and Juliet. Surely it would end badly, but it was so much fun for the time being. _We’re gonna get ourselves killed if we keep this up. But it’s LS: we’re probably gonna die soon anyway._

“Detective Dooley, lovely to see you again,” King greeted.

Jeremy took in the three judges slumped on the floor. 

“I guess I’m late,” he muttered as he was pulled along the courtroom.

“Nope,” King assured him brightly, “Though we’d expected you to be first on the scene.”

“Hm, had to get coffee,” Jeremy hummed.

He was sat in a chair past the dividers while FAHC gathered to stand ominously in front of him. 

“You want an update on Luna?” He guessed, “I haven’t found shit. All my evidence is the suggestion that he was _your_ enemy and therefore your victim. But I know that not to be the case.”

“Oh? How’s that?” King prompted.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows.

“Because 2, 3, 4, and 5 were all shocked,” he answered, gesturing to them in turn, “I didn’t speak with you, but I know your crew well enough to know this isn’t something you’d keep from them.”

“You think we don’t keep secrets from each other?” King mused.

“Secrets about your personal life?” Jeremy grunted, “Absolutely. I bet you’re into some freaky shit.”

He very carefully did _not_ look at Ryan.

“But killing your main detective?” He continued, “Of course you’d tell them. You’d ensure everyone knew the situation.”

“Hm, maybe,” King admitted, shrugging, “Or maybe I’m protecting them.”

“Cut the bullshit,” Jeremy grumbled, “First of all, they don’t need you to protect them. Second, there’s fuck all we can do if it _had_ been one of you. There’s nothing to protect them from. Just give me your fucking lead.”

_ Smack! _

The force of the backhand made Jeremy’s eyes water and bite his lip. He squeezed his eyes closed when his first reaction was to moan loudly. He swiped blood off his lip with the back of his hand.

“Touchy,” He grunted.

“You are not a very smart man, Detective Dooley,” King commented.

“I get that a lot,” Jeremy snorted, “But they don’t pay me to be smart.”

“Oh? And what _do_ they pay you for, Dooley?” King questioned, tone cold.

“Cannon fodder,” Jeremy answered a bit too easily.

_Fuck, I hope the cameras are off in here too. Burns would rip me a new one for that._ King considered him a moment. Jeremy stared back at him as his eyes seemed to calculate, trying to figure out Jeremy out.

“Vagabond,” King spoke up finally, “I believe our friend here needs to have a talk with you in private. Put a little fear into him and have a chat.”

Jeremy nearly came in his pants and he was not proud of it. Ryan came forward, hoisting him up from the chair and dragging him from the room and down the hall. He tossed him into a room and locked the door behind him. He pulled off the AK while Jeremy braced himself, putting his cuffed hands up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know what to say. Follow me @1stworldmutant I guess.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan raised an eyebrow at Jeremy’s raised fists. A smirk curled onto his face.

“Eager little thing,” he teased, lifting his own fists, “I can see your hard-on from here.”

“That’s a compliment, Vagabond,” Jeremy pointed out.

Ryan’s face twisted into a frown, but immediately softened back to a wide grin.

“Well, you are well-armed, _Detective,”_ He joked, “Alright, enough teasing. Let’s see what you can do.”

“I think you’re well aware of the motion of the ocean,” Jeremy snorted.

Ryan’s eyes widened, making his grin look a bit wild. As long as “a bit wild” meant “totally batshit insane”. Jeremy ignored what _that_ was doing to him as Ryan jabbed at his face. He blocked it, moving sideways to avoid the knee going for his guts. He gripped Ryan’s wrist and twisted, forcing him sideways to stop him from breaking it. He sent his shin into Ryan’s back, twisting his arm around behind him. 

Ryan caught his ankle with his other hand. Jeremy had enough time to think “Ah, shit” before Ryan yanked. Jeremy stumbled, slamming his crotch right into Ryan’s leg. He groaned miserably and pitched his weight forward. Ryan stumbled sideways and Jeremy got his leg back under him. 

“Ffffuck,” Jeremy hissed, staggering back, “I need my dick to fuck you. Jerkbag.”

Ryan barked out a laugh as he pulled off his jacket and tossed it aside. He put his fists up again. Jeremy’s dick made a full recovery. He blocked a left uppercut that Ryan immediately followed with a right. Jeremy wheezed, bending slightly. He launched forward, shoving his shoulder into Ryan’s guts and pushing him back several feet into the wall.

“Fucking Christ,” Ryan wheezed, “I think you actually lifted me. Can you pick me up?”

He slammed his fist into Jeremy’s kidney who grunted as he was jarred aside.

“Maybe?” He huffed as he blocked a hook, “Not cuffed.”

The force of Ryan’s hook, even blocked, sent him into the wall. Ryan gripped the chain on the cuffs and yanked them over Jeremy’s head, pinning his hands to the wall above him. He grabbed Jeremy’s face tightly with his other hand and smashed his mouth against his. Then he backed up half a step and Jeremy huffed, breathless and shuddering. Ryan’s eyes swept down him. 

“Admit defeat so I can fuck your ass, pig,” He grunted.

“In your dreams,” Jeremy spat.

“Do I have to slap you?” Ryan growled, “Bet you liked that backhand King gave you. Actually, I don’t have to bet. I saw your face. You’d take it from anyone who was rough with you, wouldn’t you?”

Jeremy squeezed his eyes closed, grunting as he struggled to not give in too easily. Ryan released his face and that was all the warning he got.

_ Smack! _

Jeremy groaned, body relaxing, hips jerking towards Ryan.

“Answer me,” Ryan snarled, “You’d take it from anyone who was rough with you, wouldn’t you?”

“M-maybe?” Jeremy choked out, “P-please, Ryan.”

“Fuck.”

He let go, yanking Jeremy’s hands down between them and cupped Jeremy’s face, mouthing at his lips as he dry humped him. Jeremy pawed at his shirt desperately, moaning into his mouth. Ryan pulled one hand away from his face to fumble with his pants. Jeremy took his cock in hand without being told to and Ryan shuddered against him.

“P-probably sh-shouldn’t let it get everywhere,” Jeremy squeaked between Ryan’s rough kisses.

Ryan smirked at him, bumping their foreheads together.

“Yeah? Got some place for me to put it?” He teased.

Jeremy blushed, looking away. _God, I sound desperate. I just asked a fucking serial killer to let me blow him!_ Ryan shoved down on his shoulders and Jeremy eagerly closed his mouth around him. Ryan puffed out a sigh, his grip relaxing.

“Ohh, I forgot,” he breathed, “S-so good with y-your mouth, Jer.”

Jeremy moaned and sucked him deeper, working him past his gag reflex. Ryan ran his fingers through his hair as he moved, rubbing his tongue all around him.

“Damn, that feels good,” he moaned, “...You’re an angel.”

Jeremy snorted and Ryan laughed breathily.

“This has been a shitty week,” he muttered, sounding tired.

Jeremy’s heart squeezed a bit, but he ignored it. _Not my business._ He focused on moving his hand and mouth in sync as quickly as he could with the cuffs. They really needed to hurry before King started to wonder what was taking so long. Ryan didn’t draw up or push Jeremy down when he came.

It was the most relaxed orgasm Jeremy had ever witnessed, taking him completely by surprise. He jolted and choked as it flooded his mouth. Ryan just sighed, petting his hair as his body relaxed.

“Good boy,” he breathed.

Jeremy blushed as he swallowed and pulled back. _Jesus, what’s with me today?_ He wobbled a bit and yawned. _Right. Tired._ He rubbed at his eyes as he sat back on his heels. 

He jumped as something prodded his lips. _A piece of gum?_ He accepted it and chewed as Ryan opened his pants and put his hand around him. Jeremy jerked into his fist and came almost immediately.

“Hm, you’re a bit out of it today,” Ryan murmured as he cleaned him up.

“Tired,” Jeremy answered, burying his face in Ryan’s chest, “This day was bullshit.”

“Was?” Ryan prompted.

“Then I saw you,” Jeremy mumbled, “Missed you.”

Ryan brushed a hand through his hair.

“I missed you too,” He whispered, “You awake enough to go back?”

Jeremy puffed out an annoyed sigh.

“Yeah, I guess,” he grumbled.

Ryan helped him up and then pushed him back against the wall.

“One last thing,” he muttered.

_ Click. _

Jeremy eyed the knife as it flicked open next to his face. It wasn’t that Jeremy completely forgot that the Vagabond was a killer, it was that he forgot _Ryan_ was. 

“You need to pretend to be terrified of me now,” he spoke quietly, but firmly, “I’ve just put fear in you, remember?”

“You put _something_ in me,” Jeremy huffed, “Who says I’m not already terrified of you?”

Ryan frowned, but then it softened into a grin.

“Good, you should be,” he agreed, pressing the knife to his cheek, “Because I could kill you.”

The knife brushed over his skin like a tender caress, a look of fondness and affection in Ryan’s eyes.

“And I might,” Ryan added quietly, “If my king bids it.”

Jeremy swallowed as their eyes locked. He knew that already. At the end of the day, they were still the Vagabond and Detective Dooley. Jeremy had likened them to Romeo and Juliet for a reason. If King decided Jeremy had to die, Ryan would kill him. It wasn’t _Ryan’s_ presence he feared.

“I-I know,” he mumbled, “It’s actually _him_ I’m afraid of.”

Ryan stared at him a moment before laughing and pulling away. He flicked the knife and the stinging hit Jeremy’s cheek like a slap. Warm blood dripped down his face and Jeremy shuddered. _Okay. So that’s a thing. Great._ Ryan’s lips pulled into a smirk.

“I saw that, Jeremy,” he teased as he went to pick up his mask, jacket, and gun, “I think we’ll be exploring that later.”

Jeremy threw him a glare as he dragged him back to the courtroom. Ryan shoved him into the chair again before going over to stand next to King.

“Well?” King questioned.

“He wouldn’t tell me anything,” Ryan grunted, voice gruff, “He’s scared of you though.”

_Wouldn’t tell him-?_ King clapped his hands together, startling him and produced a business card out of thin air. He held it out to Jeremy who took it warily. _An auto body shop?_

_“That’s_ your lead, Dooley,” King announced, “We can’t get in for territory reasons, but _you_ are not Fake. And since you’re the only cop willing to believe we didn’t do it and work any case involving us, we’re stuck with you.”

He stepped closer, leaning rather ominously over Jeremy who struggled not to cower in fear.

“This should be your top priority,” King spoke firmly.

Jeremy was too tired to keep his dumbass mouth shut.

”Sh-Shouldn’t my priority be pleasing you, your majesty?” He blurted. 

He was a nervous flirter.

”You’re a fucking idiot, Dooley,” King muttered, “Vagabond, are you still so uncertain?”

”Yes...there is evidence to support both sides,” Ryan answered quietly.

_What the fuck are they talking about??_

”Dooley, if you’d like to live,” King spoke softly, almost gently, “I’d suggest being a good little bitch and trying not to piss us off. If you do as you’re told, you’ll be allowed to live.”

Jeremy felt fear clamp down on his heart. The King of Los Santos was not to be trifled with. 

“Fetch Luna’s killer,” King ordered, “Do you understand?”

“J-just with this?” Jeremy grunted, looking at the card, “Who do I question? How’s this linked?”

_“You’re_ the pig, Dooley,” King snorted, _“You_ figure it out.”

He moved away from Jeremy, turning to the others.

“Well then, we must be off,” he announced, “We’ll be seeing you, Detective Dooley. Mogar?”

Mogar stepped forward and put a bomb on Jeremy’s lap. Jeremy sighed as a trigger was placed in his hand. _So glad to see you again, Mogar._

“Oh, the full recording for the murder of the judges,” King added, putting a USB stick in Jeremy’s other hand, “I’d suggest not losing that. Anyway, see you later!”

He patted Jeremy’s shoulder and Jeremy resisted the urge to sigh again as they left. _This my life now._ Ryan was the last out, stopping to swipe his thumb over the stinging cut. Jeremy hissed, shooting him an annoyed look. He was grinning wildly under the mask, eyes wide and sparkling. _Asshole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank one of my patron J for two chapters today. ^_^’
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for not this.


	8. Chapter 8

Since Jeremy’s stupid meter had been broken previously, he didn’t bother heeding the fact his actions were fucking _stupid._ He’d decided to try to somewhat disguise himself, wearing a ridiculously flashy outfit. White hat, purple blazer, orange shirt, and yellow pants. The last touch was a large pair of sunglasses to hide the cut on his cheek.

He hadn’t realized that none of his decent civilian clothes actually matched. Anyway, it was perfectly fine. He hid by being flamboyantly not a cop. He didn’t want the rest of the band to realize who he was. And it all worked out. _Hopefully._ He readjusted the hat as he pushed the door of the Golden Roost open. _Whatever happens, happens._

Despite being early, they were already playing. He made his way to the bar to grab a drink while he listened to the end of the song they were playing. A rock cover of _Smooth Criminal,_ because Ryan means “ironic” in Asshole. He took his drink to a table with a good view as he watched Ryan singing.

He looked a little tired. His face was flushed and a bit sweaty. Apparently it was near the end of their set. _He didn’t invite me to watch their set, he invited me to fuck afterwards._ That irked him a little. _Whatever._

Ryan still looked pretty amazing, even if he was tired.  His long hair was brushed over to one side and a thin, broken crown sat crookedly on top of his head. He had on eyeliner again, but he was wearing eyeshadow as well that night. Not a lot, but the gold powder shimmered on his eyelids. Jeremy noted the others were also wearing crowns. Apparently that was their theme. 

It was Roadkill on guitar again and Jeremy couldn’t see King hanging around anywhere. Did she play when he was busy? _Interesting._

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” someone near Jeremy’s elbow greeted someone else, “Did I miss everything?”

“He said they had one more song this set,” Someone answered, “At 10pm exactly, for some reason.”

Jeremy’s face burned. _Jesus. How did they even know Ryan?_

“Whoa, weird,” the late arrival muttered, “King never plans sets.”

_King? Did King actually go by his codename?_

“He looks great too,” the other person pointed out, “I like the new makeup.”

_Oh, they mean Ryan. His stage name is King._ Smooth Criminal ended and Ryan focused on the crowd. He was scanning faces. _Looking._ Jeremy’s burning face only got redder. He cleared his throat as Ryan’s eyes landed on him. Ryan’s nose wrinkled up, but Jeremy lowered his glasses to look at him. Ryan brightened as Jeremy’s eyes became visible. 

Jeremy pushed his glasses back up and gave him a sheepish wave. Ryan just grinned back before turning to the others. He was whispering quite excitedly. Jeremy was no longer irked by missing the rest of the show. There was a song just for him. He sipped his drink as music started playing, hands shaking.

Ryan’s hips were swaying. Jeremy felt buzzed. Ryan’s eyes closed. _He’s singing this one just for me._ Jeremy’s heart fluttered in his chest.

_“Ooh, you were really really good last night-“_

_“Ooh, I could do that twenty something more times-“_

Jeremy tapped the glass nervously.

_“And I...I know better than to play along-then you came along-_

_“And I...oh I'm thinking maybe I should call you, but no-“_

Ryan’s free hand rested on his swaying hips and Jeremy thought he couldn’t breathe as he watched him moving.

_“'Cause now's not the time to be hasty-_

_“Oh my God, oh goodness gracious-_

_“I'm so damn close I can taste ya-“_

His hand moved upwards, dragging up his shirt slightly, showing off a tiny patch of skin between his tight jeans and his T-shirt.

_“And I hate that I'm conflicted-_

_“This addiction's got me twisted on you-“_

His hand trailed up further before dragging back down.

_“I'm conflicted, contradictive-_

_“Got my body confused-“_

His hand rested over his belt. Jeremy felt like he was watching a stripper instead of a singer.

_“I'm yes or no,”_

His hips circled left to right.

_“I will, I won't-“_

His hips circled back the other way.

_“I'm conflicted and addicted-“_

He lifted his hand, reaching out.

_“So come over and make up my mind-“_

He beckoned Jeremy forward with one finger. Jeremy’s breath was stuck somewhere in his throat next to where his heart had lodged itself. Ryan’s hips started swaying again.

_“Ooh, you're looking really really good tonight-_

_“Ooh, I bet you wore that just to blow my mind-“_

His hand pressed over his heart.

“ _And I...I meant never when I swore you off-but you turn me on-_

_“And I...I was thinking maybe I should kiss you but no-“_

His hand slid down his torso and splayed over his belt again while his hips kept moving. Jeremy felt dizzy.

_“Babe, I don't got time to be wasting-_

_“Oh my God, oh goodness gracious-_

_“You're so damn close I could take ya-“_

Jeremy’s heart stuttered in his chest as Ryan’s hand dragged back up, showing a thin strip of skin before the shirt dropped back down over it.

_“And I hate that I'm conflicted-_

_“This addiction's got me twisted on you-“_

Ryan’s hand curled into a fist, gripping his shirt over his heart.

_“I'm conflicted, contradictive-_

_“Got my body confused-“_

His body twisted back and forth as he lowered himself slightly before raising back up. He gripped the mic with both hands, eyes squeezing closed.

_“I'm yes or no-“_

_“I will, I won't-“_

Jeremy couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, all he could do was watch. Ryan’s eyes opened, locking with Jeremy’s.

_“I'm conflicted and addicted-“_

He held out his hand.

_“So come over and make up my mind-“_

He beckoned with one finger again, eyes smoldering as he looked at Jeremy. He dropped his head, leaning forward a bit.

_“I’m yes or no-_

_“I will, I won’t-“_

He paused, dropping the mic away from his mouth a moment before bringing it up again.

_“I’m yes or no-_

_“I do, I don’t~!”_

He threw his head back, holding the note a moment before dropping his head back down.

_“Ooh, you were really really good last night-_

_“Ooh, you always seem to know just what I like-“_

His hips were swaying again, his fingers brushing over his belt and up his torso lightly.

_“And I...I'm gonna quit you for the millionth time-and I swear this time-_

_“But I...I was thinking just one more wouldn't hurt~”_

He held the note a moment before he opened his eyes to look at Jeremy again. He paused, leaning forward to whisper the next line like he was telling Jeremy a secret.

_“I'm conflicted, this addiction's got me twisted on you-“_

Jeremy supposed it was a secret. Ryan stood back up straight and moved back.

_“I'm conflicted, contradictive-_

_“Got my body confused-_

_“I'm yes or no, I will, I won't-_

_“I'm conflicted and addicted-“_

He slid the mic back in the stand.

_“So come over and make up my mind-“_

Jeremy swallowed, standing up and moving towards the stage. He was being drawn to Ryan again.

_“So come over and make up my mind-“_

Jeremy brushed past people. The magnetism of Ryan was irresistible to Jeremy. Tugging, yanking him towards him like the man had lassoed him and started pulling.

_“Now come over and make up my mind!”_

Ryan reached for him and Jeremy took his hand. He was pulled onto the stage and swept into Ryan’s arms. Ryan dipped him like a cheesy romance movie, holding his waist and Jeremy held him around the neck as he leaned in. Jeremy tipped the hat sideways to cover their faces as Ryan kissed him, his face bright red. 

His heart pounded in his chest and his skin buzzed with the Thing. With the crush he had on LSPD’s worst nightmare. He liked him. Wanted him. Wanted him so fucking bad. Despite everything he’d done, everything he was, he wanted him. He was a murderer and he was so goddamn beautiful.

_This addiction’s got me twisted on you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conflicted by Halestorm is the song. Y’all should listen if you haven’t heard it.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for rare posts that are usually me complaining.


	9. Chapter 9

The crowd whooped as they kissed and Jeremy was breathless when Ryan broke away.

“Hey, darlin’,” He greeted, grinning, “How was work?”

“Yesterday was better,” Jeremy muttered.

He replaced his hat as Ryan let him go. 

“I-I like your crown,” He squeaked.

Ryan took his hand to lead him off the stage.

“Really?” He grunted, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan smiled softly at him as they went back stage with the rest of the band. Jeremy hoped the cowboy boots made him tall enough not to be noticeable. He was surprised this backstage area was much nicer than the other one had been. And King was laying on a couch, sleeping. He was hugging a pillow. He stirred as they entered the room.

“Who the fuck is the flamer?” He grumbled as he sat up, “Hey, I need someone for pick up.”

“The Ruiner’s in today?” Roadkill spoke up.

Jeremy stopped, gasping.

“You have a Ruiner?!” He squealed, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Ah ha, a volunteer,” King laughed, “Wanna drive a Ruiner for some cash?”

Ryan stepped in front of Jeremy.

“No,” he grunted firmly, “He’s a civilian.”

“It’s only a pickup, dropoff,” King answered icily, “No one’s gonna damage your little toy.”

Jeremy tugged at Ryan’s jacket. Ryan frowned over his shoulder at him. Jeremy clasped his hands.

“Please?” He begged.

Ryan’s frown softened.

“Damnit...don’t look at me like that,” he grumbled, “Alright, alright.”

Jeremy bounced, tugging at his jacket excitedly. Ryan turned to him as King tossed a set of keys. He leaned down and kissed Jeremy as he caught the keys. Jeremy blushed bright red.

“That was so cool!” He squeaked as Ryan ushered him out the back door.

“Really?” Ryan muttered.

“Yeah!” Jeremy confirmed, “That was like action hero shit.”

“Action _hero?”_ Ryan snorted as he led him to a car. 

“Yeah, you could be a hero,” Jeremy assured him as they slid in.

Ryan barked out a humorless laugh as he tugged the crown off his head.

“How dare you insult me this way?” He joked as he put his seatbelt on, “Seatbelt, Jeremy.”

“Never expected you to be so safety conscious, Ryan,” Jeremy snorted as he put his seatbelt on.

“I’d rather die in a hail of bullets than by flying through a fucking windshield,” Ryan countered as they pulled out of the parking lot, “By the way...I need to ask you something.”

Jeremy looked over anxiously at Ryan’s hesitant tone of voice.

“Why do you lie?” He asked bluntly.

“Me, lie?” Jeremy scoffed, “Why I never.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Seriously, you lie and answer sarcastically all the time,” He grunted, “Even when telling the truth would benefit you. Especially when it would benefit you it seems.”

_Because I don’t deserve benefit._

“We’re debating about killing you,” Ryan added. 

“Yeah, I figured,” Jeremy muttered.

“So why didn’t you just tell us the truth?” Ryan pressed, “At the courthouse. You didn’t say it was your day off.”

“Didn’t think it mattered,” Jeremy answered, shrugging.

“And you knew it wasn’t Gold with us,” Ryan added.

“Yeah, thought that fact might get me shot,” Jeremy admitted.

“And you’re the only one on our case,” Ryan continued.

“No one wants to be the next Luna,” Jeremy muttered.

They were quiet a moment.

“You’re fucking suicidal,” Ryan finally spoke.

“Definitely not,” Jeremy denied, “Well, no more than any other Los Santos resident.”

“No one wants to be the next Luna,” Ryan repeated, “No one but you.”

Jeremy clicked his tongue.

“Yeah, that sounded bad,” he grunted, “That’s definitely not what I meant.”

“So then why stay on our case?” Ryan prompted.

Jeremy took the hat off, fidgeting with it in his hands. 

“At first...just felt like the right thing,” he muttered, “Like I’m a cop for a reason, you know? But then...”

_I realized you’re the good guys and I wanted you to have a bad guy disguised as a “good guy” on your side. So you won’t be upset when they kill me._

“We started fucking,” Ryan guessed.

Jeremy puffed out a dry laugh. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he mumbled, “Your ass is magical, Ryan.”

“You’re lying again,” Ryan pointed out quietly.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Jeremy answered.

They were quiet another moment.

“Did you fuck Michael?” Ryan suddenly blurted, “He dodges the fucking question every time I ask.”

“Uh, no, I didn’t,” Jeremy muttered, “Why?”

Ryan blushed, shifting in his seat.

“Aww, were you jealous?” Jeremy teased. 

“D-Don’t be ridiculous,” Ryan huffed.

“I’m your favorite toy, aren’t I?” Jeremy laughed.

Ryan’s face only got redder.

“Th-that’s not...” he mumbled.

Jeremy pushed up his sunglasses to look at him with wide eyes.

“Aren’t I your favorite?” He pouted.

Ryan’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he glanced at Jeremy.

“Alright, you’re my favorite!” He grumbled, “Stop doing the puppy eyes.”

Jeremy grinned triumphantly. 

“You’re a fucking nuisance,” Ryan grunted.

“Yeah, on a good day,” Jeremy snorted, “Most days I’m just an asshole.”

He pulled the sunglasses back down.

“Why else would I wear sunglasses at night?” He joked. 

“To hide your pretty face from the gang who probably wants to kill you?” Ryan scoffed.

“Alright, well now you’re just being a naysayer,” Jeremy huffed.

He ignored the fact that Ryan calling him pretty gave him warm fuzzies. 

~

Ryan directed him to a mansion after they got the Ruiner. He parked it in the garage and Ryan grabbed his face to makeout for long enough Jeremy was prepared to give car sex one hell of a go, but eventually pulled away.

“You’re really fucking hot when you get all jacked up on adrenaline,” he growled.

Jeremy blushed.

“And you‘re really fucking frisky,” He huffed.

Ryan dragged him through the side door and down a path to a guest house. Jeremy stumbled trying to keep up with him as he pulled him along. They stopped at the door to once again get frisky as Ryan fumbled with his keys. When he finally got the door open, he pulled Jeremy in and turned to deal with the alarm and the excessive amount of locks on the door.

_Oh. This is where he lives. King’s guest house for some reason._ Jeremy noted shoes at the front door and pulled off his boots. He even had a coat rack. Jeremy put the hat and blazer on it then put his arms around Ryan.

“I’m almost done,” He promised.

“Mm, maybe I can just fuck you against the door,” Jeremy suggested, running his hand down to grope at Ryan’s boner, “You can keep locking while you scream my name.”

“J-Jesus,” Ryan huffed, “Who’s the blunt one now?”

“You’re rubbing off on me,” Jeremy laughed.

He pulled back to let him get the last locks done and take his own jacket and shoes off. He took Jeremy’s hand and dragged him to his bedroom, only stopping once to push him against the wall. When they got to the bedroom, he pushed Jeremy at the bed and locked the bedroom door before moving around the room looking like he was searching for something. He found the something.

“Stop spying on me you little shit,” He growled at the thing before walking into a bathroom with it. 

Jeremy snorted as he heard the toilet flush and Ryan came back. 

“Fucking Gold,” he grumbled as he walked over, pulling off his clothes, “Come live with us, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Failed to mention that the security expert would be invading my bedroom.”

Jeremy froze suddenly. _Security expert. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!_

“Jeremy?” Ryan called, “What is it?”

“N-nothing,” Jeremy muttered, “I just...feel like an idiot.”

Ryan hummed and tugged at his shirt impatiently. Jeremy stood up, pulling his shirt over his head as he backed Ryan into the far wall. Ryan fumbled with his pants and Jeremy smirked at his almost shy behavior. 

“You look like you want something,” He teased as he kicked off his pants and boxers.

Ryan looked down, blushing. Jeremy braced one hand on the wall and held his chin with the other.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” He ordered gently.

“P-pick me up,” Ryan mumbled.

Jeremy gripped his waist and hoisted him up. Ryan wrapped around him and shuddered.

“You l-let me win don’t you?” He huffed as Jeremy carried him to the bed.

“What?” Jeremy grunted.

“M-Michael, he said you can actually fight,” Ryan babbled, “A-and you’re so strong. Y-you let me win, d-don’t you?”

They toppled onto the bed.

“You don’t always win,” Jeremy protested, shoving him further up the bed, “And Mogar was injured. Plus he couldn’t see or hear shit.”

He leaned over to the nightstand, opening the top drawer. He pulled out a sizable, but half-empty bottle of lube.

“Besides,” He went on as he poured lube onto his fingers, “You taught me one of the moves he pulled.”

He shoved up Ryan’s legs to push a finger inside him.

“I did?” Ryan grunted, “Are you saying I made you better?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jeremy grumbled, jabbing a second finger in him.

“J-Jeremy!...more,” Ryan cried, “Y-you’re goin’ too slow. I want you! Hurry!”

Jeremy pushed a third finger in him and he writhed, pushing down on his hand. He whined impatiently as he bucked his hips and Jeremy shoved his hand hard against him. Ryan cried out as he slid up the sheets. Jeremy leaned over him, gripping his shoulder tightly.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He growled.

He shoved again and Ryan clutched his arm, crying.

“I-it hurts!” He sobbed, “D-do it h-harder!”

A shudder went through Jeremy and he groaned breathlessly.

“Fucking Christ you’re so fucking sexy,” He huffed, “I just to fucking destroy you.”

He shoved again and his knuckles pushed through. Ryan shouted, his hands clawing at Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy grit his teeth as he kept pushing. Ryan groaned, sounding miserable, but he rocked on Jeremy’s hand.

“Jeremy,” He grit through his teeth, “Fuck me!”

Jeremy yanked his hand back none too gently and Ryan panted. Jeremy reached over and flicked on the lamp on the nightstand before he lubed up his cock and pushed into Ryan. Ryan’s eye makeup was running down his face while he cried.

_Ooh, I bet you wore that just to blow my mind._

Ryan reached for him and Jeremy watched their hands clasp naturally as though they’d done it hundreds of times. 

_Ooh, I could do that twenty something more times._

Jeremy leaned over him as he rolled his hips. Ryan moaned, back arching. His wet eyelashes fluttered open and a fresh wave of tears trailed down his face. 

_And I...I was thinking maybe I should kiss you but no._

Ryan’s eyes were searching his. Jeremy brushed hair from his face and cupped his jaw. Ryan put his free hand over Jeremy’s.

_I'm conflicted and addicted._

Ryan’s hand moved off his and he cupped the back of his head.

_So come over and make up my mind._

Ryan pulled him down into a searing kiss. Jeremy rolled his hips faster and they panted into each other’s mouths. The moment was so loud and quiet, Jeremy thought his head was going to explode. He didn’t even know what the Thing was. He just knew he wanted all of it.

“Jeremy! Jeremy!” Ryan cried, squeezing his hand tightly.

His hips jerked as his face drew up. The dark tear tracks fanned out under his eyes and the gold smudged across his eyelids made him look so terrifyingly beautiful that it sent a shiver down Jeremy’s spine. He pressed another kiss to Ryan’s lips as his hips jerked quick and desperate. He groaned against Ryan’s mouth as he came. 

“Ryan...you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

“So are you.”

Jeremy doubted that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me @1stworldmutant for dicks and sadness.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeremy had the best sleep he’d had in years. He woke up naturally and smiled against Ryan’s shoulder blade. It’d been awhile since he’d woken up in a very nice bed with a very nice partner. Usually they were gone by the time the sun came up.

And he was getting that day off he missed. He had to work yesterday mostly on cleanup, but today was makeup for the Fakes taking his day off. Jeremy had a few ideas how to get payback for it. 

He trailed his hand down Ryan’s torso. Ryan stirred, humming approval as Jeremy’s hand wrapped around his slowly waking cock. Before he could get him fully interested in the events unfolding, a phone went off. Ryan sat up immediately, rolling quickly out of bed to find his phone.

“Boss?” He greeted, “...Yes, why?...I told you, he’s a civilian.”

Jeremy sat up, looking at him with a confused frown. He was also frowning as he listened to King on the phone. 

“No, it’s not possible...” Ryan insisted, “No! I don’t give a fuck, find someone else!...Just because you own the fucking city, doesn’t mean you own everyone in it!”

He pulled the phone from his ear and hung up, tossing it on the bed. Jeremy looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Ryan puffed out an annoyed breath.

“He wants a getaway driver,” he grumbled, “You can’t risk another interaction with the others. They’re going to figure it out.”

Jeremy wrapped his arms around him as he sat down.

“Ry...I have a question for you,” he mumbled, “When King asked you if you’d decided...he meant have you decided if I’m a good guy or not. You said you hadn’t. Was that true?”

Ryan sagged a bit, suddenly seeming very tired.

“Yes, that’s true,” he murmured, “You want to do the right thing, it seems. You’re willing to work against the most powerful gang in the city. You don’t back down from us, even when you’re scared or know it will end badly...”

“But?” Jeremy prompted.

“But you’re fucking a serial killer,” Ryan continued quietly, “A man who is objectively a bad person.”

Jeremy pulled away to turn Ryan to make him look at him.

“Are you saying this is the reason you’re uncertain?” He questioned, gesturing between them.

“Yes, it is,” Ryan confirmed, “I just can’t see how a good guy could do this. You’ve fought me so many times, but you always let me go. I’m a murderer, I deserve to be arrested or maybe even killed.“

Jeremy dropped his head and crossed his arms over himself self-consciously.

“Just because I’m shit at it, doesn’t mean I’m not trying,” he mumbled.

He suddenly felt very small. _I don’t know if I do really want to win, but if I did, I couldn’t._

“I’ll teach you,” Ryan offered.

Jeremy looked up in surprise.

“Wh-what?” He sputtered.

“I’ll teach you to fight,” Ryan clarified, “I’ll teach you until you can beat me.”

“That seems unlikely,” Jeremy muttered, glancing away.

“I taught you one move already, didn’t I?” Ryan pointed out.

“Well...yeah,” Jeremy agreed, rubbing the back of his neck, “Um, okay, I guess-“

He was interrupted with his own squeak as Ryan tackled him to the bed.

“Lesson 1: always be alert!” He laughed smugly, “You never know when an opponent might attack you.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. 

_ Click. _

“Lesson 2: always be armed,” Ryan continued.

Jeremy watched the knife as Ryan moved it down over his chest. 

“Wh-where the hell did that even come from??” He huffed as the blade touched his skin.

Ryan ignored him as he pressed down, breaking the skin over Jeremy’s the top of sternum. Jeremy bit his lip as the stinging of the cut slid down his chest. Hot blood welled up and spilt over Jeremy’s skin. He shuddered. 

“Your blood is a very pretty shade of red,” Ryan commented.

Jeremy’s half-hard cock whacked him in the ass as it leapt to attention where he was straddling Jeremy’s waist. He grinned smugly and Jeremy blushed horrifically. Ryan moved the knife, pressing it to one of his ribs.

“How much blood would you lose if I traced over all your bones?” He breathed.

“Fuck,” Jeremy hissed, “R-Ry.”

Ryan rolled his hips backward, rubbing his ass on Jeremy’s dick while he cut another thin, shallow line. Jeremy struggled to keep breathing, the heat and the stinging felt like fire on his chest and he bucked up. Ryan dropped his weight on Jeremy’s stomach to stop him from moving. 

“Ry!” He whined, squirming, “Please!”

“Hold on, your asymmetry is pissing me off,” Ryan growled, “Hold still!”

Jeremy whined, but held still for another cut. He shuddered and groaned as fire seemed to pulse outward from the cuts. 

“Damn, y-you’re freaky,” Ryan panted, “You look amazing. F-fuckin’ bloody, writhing in desire. Y-you wanna see how bad it hurts me t-to use your blood as lube?”

Jeremy gripped his thighs tightly. 

“Th-there’s not enough,” he lamented.

A shudder rippled through Ryan. 

“Fuck, this is some messed up shit,” he murmured as he leaned over to get the lube, “Blood as lube. Probably ill-advised.”

He poured lube on his fingers and reached around his leg to finger himself. 

“Why can’t I do that?” Jeremy grumbled.

“Shut up,” Ryan grunted.

“I thought you liked my mouth?” Jeremy teased.

“You’re too fuckin’ slow lately,” Ryan grumbled.

He pulled his hand away and rubbed lube over Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy bit his lip as Ryan sank down on him. 

“Hey, this is like our first time,” He huffed, “Want me to fuck you like I did then?”

“Better be better than _that_ if you want to impress me,” Ryan scoffed.

Jeremy flipped him, pressing him into the bed. He squeezed his throat.

“I’ve been too soft, have I?” He taunted, “I need to remind you whose bitch you are?”

“Y-Yes!” Ryan groaned, “R-remind me! Fuck me! I want it! H-hurry!”

Jeremy jerked sharply into him and tears poured from his already messy eyes. 

“Such a demanding li-“

_ Smack! _

“If you d-don’t fuck me, I’m gonna finish my job on your f-fucking ribs,” Ryan snarled.

Jeremy groaned, squeezing his throat.

“Fucking bitchy little whore,” He growled, jerking against him sharp and quick, “Do I look like I give a fuck about what you want, you little bitch?”

“J-Jeremy!” Ryan cried, “It h-hurts!”

“Yeah it does, doesn’t it?” Jeremy sneered, “You like when it hurts, don’t you? You’re the freaky one. Whose freaky little bitch are you, huh? Who do you belong to?”

“Y-you! I-I’m your f-freaky little bitch!” Ryan sobbed, “I l-love it when you hurt me! I-I always want you t-to use me!”

Jeremy shuddered, thrusting into him quicker and faster. 

“J-Jeremy!” Ryan gasped, eyes widening.

“What is-“

Jeremy was interrupted by the door slamming open.

“Oi, Ry, we ne-“

Gold stopped mid-squawk to stare open-mouthed at them.

“Oh my god!” He shrieked, slapping a hand over his eyes, “That is way more information than I needed!”

“Get the hell out of my house!” Ryan screeched at him.

_Fwip! Thunk!_

Gold jumped and yelped as a knife embedded itself in the door next to his head.

“G-Geoff sent me-!” Gold squeaked.

“OUT!” Ryan screamed.

Gold beat a hasty retreat, after slamming into the doorframe since his eyes were still covered.

“So he’s like a major fucking moron, right?” Jeremy commented dryly.

Ryan shoved him away.

“Fucking _great!”_ He hissed, as he got up getting their clothes gathered, “Now Gavin knows I take it up the ass!”

He made a frustrated noise and covered his face.

“Fucking _Gavin!”_ He shrieked.

He lifted his head to finish grabbing the clothes.

“Get your clothes on before someone else barges in!” He huffed, tossing Jeremy’s clothes at him.

His face was bright red as he dumped his clothes into a hamper. Jeremy tugged on his clothes as he disappeared into his closet. Well, Gold definitely knew who he was now. That might be a problem. Or maybe it wouldn’t be? Would Gold immediately tell the others?

Jeremy sighed, rubbing his face. Being with Ryan was stressful. He looked down at the drying blood on his chest. He shuddered. It was so fucking hot though. Ryan came out of the closet and found him looking at the cuts.

“You should really clean those,” He mumbled, “Come on.”

He took his hand and dragged him into his bathroom. He dropped a bundle of clothes near his bathtub before pulling out a wash cloth. He wet it with warm water and wiped up all the dried blood. Jeremy stood still, just looking at his wrecked face while he cleaned the cuts he made. 

His eye makeup was everywhere. His eyes were red from his crying. His face was still flushed with embarrassment. His hair was sweaty. He definitely looked like he’d just got the daylights fucked out of him.

“You’re staring,” he grumbled.

“Because you’re beautiful,” Jeremy countered.

Ryan’s eyes darted to his and then away, his face going impossibly redder.

“I-I’m not...” he murmured.

He turned to rinse the cloth and Jeremy stood on his toes to kiss his cheek. 

“So I don’t suppose you could give me a ride home before this super secret mission?” He asked, grinning sheepishly.

“No, I have to shower,” Ryan grunted, “Go up to the house and tell them you need a ride. They’ll probably send a B team member to get you.”

He turned towards him.

“Try to tone down the sass, okay?” He requested, “I don’t want you to get shot.”

Jeremy’s heart caught in his throat.

“I really am your favorite toy,” he teased, though he blushed.

“Yeah...yeah, you are,” Ryan answered.

He leaned in and kissed him gently. Jeremy’s heart pounded in his throat and he tried to swallow it down as Ryan pulled away. He caressed the cut on his cheek with a fond smile before turning to get into his shower. _God, this is all so fucked up._

~

“Hey there,” Jeremy greeted the security tech, “You remember me?”

The tech looked up at him, hesitating.

“S-sure, Detective Dooley, right?” He answered, “You’re the Fake Responder.”

“Babysitter is the term I used,” Jeremy corrected as he wandered to the desk, “Don’t you remember, Gavin?”

He leaned against the desk beside Gold who fidgeted nervously.

“So Ry told you,” he mumbled.

“Nope,” Jeremy denied, “He doesn’t tell me anything about work. Though he knew a few facts only two people could’ve heard, like the fact it was my day off and that I’m the only one working the FAHC case. And you called me Jeremy.”

He leaned down to speak in Gold’s ear.

“Cops don’t use first names, Free,” he whispered, “You should be more careful.”

Gold stiffened.

“So...wh-what are you gonna do?” He squeaked.

Jeremy pulled away from him.

“Fakes don’t kill good guy cops,” he grunted, “Why?”

Gold looked surprised by the question.

“Well, we want Los Santos to thrive,” he answered, shrugging, “Can’t very well do that if all the garbage fills our street. We’re bad guys, but...I dunno, there’s just lines we don’t cross and the guys who cross them need to be taken out by our boys in blue.”

_That’s about what I figured._

“Alright, well, I should get back to work,” Jeremy announces, standing back up, “Nice talking to you, Free.”

He made for the door.

“Wait, is that all?” Gold called, “You’re not going to threaten me?”

“You’re not doing anything I don’t like,” Jeremy pointed out, looking over his shoulder at him, “And you know what Ryan will do to you if you tell the others about us, so I don’t need to do anything.”

He turned back forward, putting his hand on the doorknob.

“Do you love him?” Gold asked, quieter.

Jeremy paused then turned the doorknob and went through the door as though the question hadn’t been asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And mistakes were made by Gavin.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more awkwardness.


	11. Chapter 11

Ryan pinned Gavin against the wall, pressing the blade to his throat.

“You saw nothing,” he growled, “You know nothing. Am I understood?”

“S-so that was all consensual?” Gavin squeaked, “B-because I r-really wasn’t sure. Th-the blood and th-“

Ryan interrupted by pressing harder on the blade.

“You saw nothing,” he repeated firmly.

“S-saw nothing?” Gavin sputtered, “N-no idea what you’re o-on about!”

Ryan’s lips curled into a smirk.

“You learn quick, Golden Boy,” he praised, “Now if you ever enter my house again, I will flay off your face, understood?”

“U-understood,” Gavin agreed, “I d-don’t want to enter your house ever again anyway! But, um...o-one question?”

Ryan scowled at him.

“Be careful, boy,” he warned, “You’re pushing your luck.”

Gavin looked away nervously, fidgeting.

“D-doesn’t it hurt?” He mumbled.

_ What? _

“I-in the bum, it hurts, right?” He went on, tugging on his shirt.

His face was bright red. _What the hell?_

“It _can_ hurt,” Ryan answered carefully, squinting suspiciously at him.

Gavin looked at him sharply, clasping his hands. His eyes were wide and searching.

“So it doesn’t have to?” He pressed, “You can make it not hurt?”

_Is he...?_

“Are you...coming on to me?” Ryan grunted, stepping back hesitantly.

Gavin went crimson and waved his hands frantically.

“N-no!” He shrieked, “No, I don’t want wh-whatever the hell that was!”

Ryan slapped his hand over Gavin’s mouth.

“Shut up!” He hissed, “I swear to Christ if anyone finds out, I’m going to cut off all your skin!”

Gavin kept his hands up, trying to nod in agreement. Ryan hesitated, glancing around. He made the knife disappear and reached in his jacket. He shoved the fresh bottle of lube into Gavin’s hand.

“Use that, start with your fingers,” he muttered, “Three or four should loosen you enough to take it. You tell anyone about this conversation I’ll loosen your hole with a knife, got it?”

Gavin nodded rapidly and Ryan pulled away. _Fucking Christ, that was the most embarrassing moment of my life._ He turned away.

“Do you love him?” Gavin called quietly.

Ryan paused a moment. _Why would he ask me that?!_ He started walking away again, trying to run from the question.

“You two were made for each other,” Gavin snorted.

Ryan ignored him, picking up his pace. _We’re absolutely not acknowledging the feelings._ If he ignored it, it wasn’t there. He’d been telling himself that since the job in Ro.

~

Ryan was always so nervous when they met up. There were a million reasons why doing it was wrong. But damn if he didn’t crave it with every fiber of his being. Being with Jeremy was the only relaxing thing in his life. 

Ryan barely even had to do anything either. All you had to do was slap him and Jeremy would turn into a sex machine. Ryan’s ass was still sore a couple days later and Jeremy hadn’t even finished the second time. 

God, he looked amazing, bleeding down his torso while his face twisted in a snarl. Jeremy was so beautiful Ryan had to wonder if he was more attractive than he thought. How else could a common killer convince a cop to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane? Sure, he’d modeled when he was younger, but now? He didn’t think he was very attractive. But he must be if Jeremy liked him.

“Hey, sorry, were you waiting long?” Jeremy questioned as he sat across from him. 

Ryan shook his head, distracted by the cut on Jeremy’s cheek. It’d mostly healed, it wasn’t that deep, but Ryan found himself sort of hoping it would scar. _No, I’m not attractive, I’m just a freaky little bitch like he said. Because I take it and give it so rough, that’s all._

“So is this a work or sex meeting?” Jeremy asked, jarring Ryan from his thoughts.

He dropped the note Ryan had left at the pigpen onto the table. _He looks tired. Utterly exhausted._

“Can’t it be both?” Ryan suggested.

Jeremy smiled fondly at him and Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Your lead, the auto body shop,” Jeremy grunted, pulling out a notebook, “Lead mechanic, George, said someone tried to pay him to tamper with Luna’s brakes. This is what he looks like.”

He turned the notebook around to show Ryan the sketch inside. 

“That’s one of the FunHaus boys,” Ryan muttered, “They’ve been-“

“Stepping on your toes, I know,” Jeremy interrupted, “They’ve been pushing their luck with most of the LS gangs. I’ve been too busy to respond to any of their call-ins, so I’m not familiar with them. I could ask the guys on their case, but that would look a bit suspicious.”

“Did you draw that?” Ryan asked, gesturing needlessly at the sketch.

Jeremy closed the notebook, blushing. Ryan smirked a little. _What a cute piglet you are._

“Y-Yes, anyway, do you know where they are?” Jeremy pressed on, “Or at least where I could start looking?”

“Yeah, Mirror Park,” Ryan grumbled, “They’re always causing a scene over there.”

“Awesome, I’m on it,” Jeremy mumbled.

He rubbed his face tiredly and Ryan felt a surge of guilt. _I’m taking up his free time._

“So where are we going?” Jeremy spoke up, “Would you like to come to my place?”

Ryan was startled by the offer.

“Yes, should I follow you?” He agreed.

“Yeah, you better,” Jeremy answered, “That way you can leave on your bike if you need to. Oh, hey, just take my number. I’ll text you the address.”

They exchanged numbers while Ryan tried to pretend it didn’t mean anything to him. Jeremy was the first outside the crew to get his personal phone number. _He’s been in my ass, my house, now my phone. What’s next?_

_My heart._

~

Ryan tried to be polite and not look around, but he couldn’t help but scan the place immediately for threats. 

“You can check the windows, if you need to,” Jeremy muttered as he locked the front door.

The first window was locked.

“What?” Ryan grunted, “Why would I need to check the windows? Are they unlocked?”

The second window was also locked.

“No, they’re locked,” Jeremy assured him, “I just figured you’d want to be sure.”

“Why?” Ryan mumbled as he moved into the kitchen.

The window above the sink was locked. 

“I don’t know, Ry,” Jeremy grumbled, “You have like ten locks on your door.”

The window by the dining table was locked.

“It’s nine,” Ryan huffed defensively as he moved down the hallway.

He flicked on the light in the first room he saw. _Bathroom. No windows._ He flicked it back off. Jeremy’s bedroom was barely touched by human hands it seemed. Jeremy dropped heavily to his bed as Ryan checked the window. _Locked._ He glanced around.

“Did Gold mention coming to your place?” He muttered, checking the bedside lamp.

“No, why?” Jeremy mumbled, sitting up on his elbows, “You think my place is bugged?”

“Hm, probably not,” Ryan hummed.

He poked around the room a bit more before turning back to Jeremy. He was asleep, curled up on his bed. Ryan’s chest squeezed. _He’s so tired. I’m taking up his resting time._ He tugged Jeremy’s shoes and jeans off and sat next to him. Jeremy stirred a bit, grumbling about being bothered, but fell back asleep easily. 

Ryan tugged off his glove to reach down and lightly brush over the cut. _We’re so tangled and fucked up, aren’t we, darlin’?_ He took out his phone to take a picture of him. _God, I’m a creep,_ Ryan thought as he scrolled through his other pictures of Jeremy sleeping. _Such a fucking creep._

Ryan rubbed his face, pressing his hands into his eyelids. _What the hell are we doing, Jeremy? This can only possibly end very badly._ He dropped his hands and looked at Jeremy’s sleeping face. 

_“Do you love him?”_

Ryan caressed the cut again. _Jeremy, do I love you? Can you love me back?_ Jeremy stirred, frowning a bit. Ryan snapped his hand back. _I’m hurting him._ He mostly settled back, though his brow was furrowed. _I hurt him._ It was funny to be so concerned about it when they kicked the crap out of each other every time they fucked. 

_“Do you love him?”_

“This addiction’s got me...” Jeremy mumbled in his sleep.

“Twisted on you,” Ryan sang softly.

Jeremy’s face smoothed into a tiny smile. Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest. He meant something to Ryan, whatever something was. Ryan shrugged off his jacket, kicked off his shoes, and dropped his jeans to crawl into bed behind Jeremy.  He stirred again, but settled back against him easily.

“Ryan?” he hummed.

“Yes, it’s me,” Ryan confirmed, pulling him closer.

Jeremy puffed out a little sigh and relaxed further. Their hands clasped together and Ryan looked at them laying on the bed. _What the hell are we doing, Jeremy? We’re gonna get ourselves killed over this._

He buried his nose in Jeremy’s hair and kissed his scalp. He may not know if he loved him, but he knew it was worth it, whatever happened, to be happy for these small moments. It was all he had in his miserable existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 aka Awkward.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more instructional fics.


	12. Chapter 12

Geoff sighed heavily, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked almost as tired as Jeremy. Ryan sat down in the chair and cleared his throat.

“You...wanted to see me?” He mumbled.

_Jesus, I feel like I got called into the principal’s office._ Geoff dropped his hands.

“Gavin’s suddenly vouching for Dooley,” he announced, “Apparently, the guy somehow found him and had a chat with him.”

Ryan frowned. _Why didn’t either of them tell me?_

“Gavin said he only asked one question,” Geoff went on, “He wanted to know why we don’t kill good cops.”

Ryan squinted at him. _Why? And was that true or did Gavin cover for him?_

“According to Gavin, he made no attempt to defend himself,” Geoff added, “Nor threaten him in any way. He didn’t even ask if we thought _he_ was a good cop.”

_Because he already knows we haven’t decided._

“So, I gotta ask, Ry,” Geoff grunted, “Knowing all this and your interactions, are you still uncertain?”

Ryan considered it. Considered the look on Jeremy’s face when they discussed it. For whatever reason, Jeremy didn’t want them to think he was a good guy. Ryan couldn’t understand why that was. Was he actually suicidal? 

“I don’t think he’s a good guy,” Ryan lied, “But he’s got the right opinions and we can trust he’ll do what we would do. He’d make a better criminal than a piglet, that’s for sure. Plus he’s terrified of you. He calls you the King of Los Santos even to his boss. He’ll go along with most of what you say.”

“Most?” Geoff prompted.

Ryan looked down at his hands in his lap.

“Well, I think he still has some moral code,” he admitted, “If you tried to get him to hurt someone he didn’t think deserved it or someone he cared about, he wouldn’t do it. He’s like us.”

The last part was true. Geoff hummed thoughtfully, sitting back in his chair.

“Then we should get him on our side for real,” he spoke after a long moment, “Get him to quit being a cop.”

Ryan looked up sharply.

“Shit,” Geoff hissed, interrupting the thought before Ryan had fully formed it, “Nah, that won’t work. We’ll completely lose our one connection to the pigs. Besides Gavin anyway, but that barely counts.”

Ryan deflated, though he did his best not to outwardly show it. It was a fantasy anyway. Them being happy boyfriends was ridiculous, even if he did become a criminal. The life wasn’t exactly easy to live in, let alone be in love in. _Love._ Ryan twisted his hands anxiously. 

“Hey, Ry, you doin’ okay?” Geoff questioned softly, “You’ve been a bit off the past few days.”

“I’m fine,” Ryan assured him, bowing his head.

Geoff sighed.

“Listen, I know I can be a real asshole,” he muttered, “But we’re family. I care about you. I mean, _Gavin’s_ worried about you. Of course he won’t tell me _why_ that is, but still, he’s worried. We all are.”

Ryan twisted his hands in his lap before he finally sighed and dropped his head on the desk.

“I think I’m falling in love with someone,” he admitted quietly.

“The car flamer,” Geoff guessed.

Ryan looked up in surprise. Geoff’s mustache twitched up as he gave him a little smile. 

“You were prepared to rip _my_ throat out over him,” He snorted, “And you gave in immediately when he said please. Not to mention you actually took him down to your place. You’re not slick, _Vagabond.”_

Ryan winced at the name, but grinned to quickly hide it.

“Maybe I wanted you to notice, _my_ _king,”_ he laughed.

“Hmph, as if,” Geoff scoffed, “You’d rather no one knew anything about you...this guy, why’s he fuckin’ you up so much?”

Ryan rubbed the back of his neck.

“Because I...” He mumbled, “Don’t want to fuck it up...What we have is so fragile...I’m worried if I push too much, it will shatter and I’ll lose him.”

“He’s the reason you were in such a good mood,” Geoff commented, “But then something changed between you and it’s been ramping up the past few days, hasn’t it?”

Ryan covered his face.

“I’m terrified!” He shouted.

“Ry, you’re probably falling in love,” Geoff grunted, “But before you go full tilt into it, how does he feel about you?”

Ryan dropped his hands hesitantly.

“I-I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, “W-we don’t talk much.”

He blushed, looking away. _Well, we talk a bit..._

“So you need more time with him,” Geoff suggested, “Go on some actual dates with him. Ones that don’t end in sex. If you’re both willing to go on them and end the night without boning, then you’ll know for sure you like each other.”

_We didn’t fuck last night, but that’s because he was so tired._

“We’re both just so busy with work,” Ryan mumbled, “We have so little time together.”

“Ask him when he’s free,” Geoff muttered, sitting up, “I’ll make sure you’re free when he is.”

Ryan looked at him with wide eyes.

“R-really?” He asked.

“Yeah, you’re my family,” Geoff assured, “I care about you and if the flamer makes you happy, then I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you can see him.”

He checked his phone.

“Shit, Dooley’s here,” He grumbled, “Do you need anything else?”

“Uh, no, I’m fine,” Ryan answered, “Why’s Dooley here?”

“I need an update,” Geoff grunted, “Plus I wanted to talk to him about Gavin.”

“Why? Didn’t Gavin say he didn’t threaten him?” Ryan pointed out.

“Yes, I just want to see if he reacts differently to me,” Geoff explained, “I’d like to see if he’ll be begging for his life if I bring it up. Or if he’ll be as sassy as always.”

“Well, he’s sassier when he’s tired,” Ryan dismissed, shrugging, “So now’s not the greatest time for judging that.”

Geoff was frowning at his phone, then he looked up, confused.

“How do you know he’s tired?” He muttered.

_ Fuck. _

“Cleanup from the courthouse,” Ryan offered, “No doubt he got extra hours from that.”

“It’s been several days now,” Geoff argued, “He should be fine by now.”

“Has it been days?” Ryan laughed nervously, “Seemed like it was yesterday.”

“Flamer’s got you fucked up,” Geoff snorted, “You’re not even paying attention to Dooley any more.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. 

_Knock knock!_

“Come in!” Geoff called.

Ryan pulled on the mask and got up to leave. Jeremy poked his head in the door and something tense relaxed in Ryan’s chest. He smiled.

“Vagabond, good to see you,” Jeremy greeted, grinning mischievously.

“You’re _happy_ to see the Vagabond?” Geoff scoffed, “That’ll be a first.”

“Well, he’s more agreeable to my humor than you are, your majesty,” Jeremy snarked as he moved to the desk, “And at least he’s pretty.”

Ryan snorted as he opened the door.

“Watch it, buddy,” Geoff grumbled, “He’s got a boyfriend.”

Ryan froze, eyes widening. _Geoff! What. The. Fuck?!_

“Is that so?” Jeremy commented lightly, “Must be pretty badass to date this guy.”

“He is,” Ryan answered, unable to help himself, “A _very_ pretty badass. Especially when he bleeds.”

He closed the door behind him, his heart pounding in his chest. _Jesus! Geoff was there! What am I doing flirting with Jeremy when Geoff was right there?!_ He moved quickly down the stairs to the foyer and through the front door. It was pretty exciting though, flirting when someone could find out. 

Adrenaline was pumping in his veins. He almost wanted to go right back to Geoff’s office and put Jeremy on his knees. He’d looked much better than he had last night, so Ryan didn’t doubt his ability to stay awake for it. Or he could bend him over Geoff’s desk.

Ryan fumbled with his keys, trying to hurry and get into the house. He ripped off the mask as he locked the door. He ripped his pants open and bit his glove to pull it off. He groaned as he got his hand around himself. _Fuck. Only a few days and I already want him so fucking bad._ He braced one hand on the door as he reconsidered the scene.

_Ryan closes and locks the door. Jeremy looks back at him nervously._

_“Uh, wh-what are you doing?” He squeaks as Ryan approaches him._

_Ryan grips a fistful of his hair and slams him over Geoff’s desk._

_“I’m showing you who you sold your soul to, baby,” Ryan whispers hotly in his ear, “I’m gonna show you I own your ass.”_

_“Well, if you have his ass, can I take his mouth?” Geoff speaks up._

_“You touch him, I kill you,” Ryan growls._

_Jeremy shudders. Ryan yanks his pants and underwear down._

_“He’s **my** toy,” he adds, opening his own pants._

_“R-Ry, please!” Jeremy whimpers._

_Ryan rubs the head of his cock over Jeremy’s asshole. Jeremy shudders with a groan. His thighs spread and he trembles as Ryan rubs against him._

_“You want it?” Ryan sneers in his ear._

_“Y-Yes, please!” Jeremy cries._

_Ryan pushes into him without lube and Jeremy screams through his teeth just like the first time Ryan fucked him._

Ryan slammed his fist on the door as he came against it. He panted, sucking in deep gasps as he tried to catch his breath. _Not fucking is going to be a problem, isn’t it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, Ryan being a sex-crazed lunatic in one of MY fics? No way!
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more obvious lies.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: gay slur, brief homophobic incident

Ryan was pouring over the plans for the museum when a knock came at the door. He frowned, checking his phone. _Jesus, I’ve been at it an hour already??_ He got up to get the door. Probably Geoff. He peeked through the peephole. Not Geoff. It was Jeremy. He quickly opened the door and ushered him inside.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He hissed as he locked the door, “ The others could’ve seen you!” 

Jeremy was silent. Ryan glanced at him. _He looks pissed. What the fuck happened?_ He quickly finished locking the door. As soon as the ninth lock was flipped, his face was slammed into the door.

“J-Jeremy?” He squeaked.

“Pull your pants down,” Jeremy growled.

Ryan fumbled quickly with his jeans, dropping them to the floor. Jeremy seemed angry and Ryan really wanted to know why, but he also _really_ wanted this to continue where it was going. 

“Bend over.”

Jeremy let go of him, stepping back. He unfastened his belt and pulled it free while Ryan bent over. _Oh god. He’s going to beat me. Fuck._ Ryan prayed to the gods of sex and masochism that whatever he did was repairable after this was over.

_ Smack! _

Ryan cried out as the belt hit his ass. _Fuck!_

_Smack!_

His legs started trembling. 

“You are a slut,” Jeremy hissed through his teeth.

_ Smack! _

Ryan moaned, jolting as he was hit. 

“Who do you belong to, whore?” Jeremy growled.

_ Smack! _

“Y-you! I’m y-yours!” Ryan cried.

_ Smack! _

Ryan’s knees dipped. His hand twitched toward his leaking cock. _Fuck! Please, Jeremy!_

_Smack!_

“Pull down your underwear,” Jereny grunted.

Ryan tugged his underwear down over his ass, hissing as it dragged over the sore skin. Jeremy pushed a bottle of lube into his hand. Ryan looked back at him nervously.

“Don’t act you don’t know what to do,” He growled.

Ryan blushed, facing the door again as he shakily poured lube over his fingers. He reached between his legs to finger himself, body burning with shame. _Fuck, he’s watching full on this time._ Ryan moaned. 

“You like puttin’ on a show for me, slut?” Jeremy asked, voice low.

“Y-Yes,” Ryan whimpered.

Why did this feel so different from before? Why did he feel so much more humiliated? Because Jeremy beat him first? Because it was full daylight right in front of his front door? Because Jeremy was watching so intently? 

Ryan had no idea, just knew it was really fucking doing it for him. He knew he should be asking Jeremy why he was mad, but he’d never been that great at confrontation. Ironic, considering his profession.

“Move your hand.”

Ryan’s hand moved out of the way for Jeremy to press his cock up against his asshole. He jerked forward, sinking halfway in. Ryan let out a pained shout, bracing his forearms against the door, hands clenching into shaking fists. _So much for not having sex._ Ryan hissed as Jeremy moved forward. 

“Who do you belong to?” Jeremy hissed.

“Y-you!” Ryan cried as Jeremy pushed flush against him, “I-I’m yours!”

Jeremy groped his ass over the bruised skin. Ryan yelped.

“Should I brand you?” Jeremy sneered, “So everyone knows you’re mine?”

Ryan shuddered. That was a poor decision, but he certainly liked the idea of Jeremy permanently marking him. _Jesus, I’m getting more submissive by the day._ Jeremy’s hips rocked back and forth and fresh tears ran down Ryan’s face. Ryan’s jaw clenched tightly as his hips rocked back into Jeremy’s. 

Jeremy’s hand slammed his face against the door again.

“How many other men do you let use your ass, slut?” He growled.

_ What? _

“N-None, only you,” Ryan whimpered,

_“Liar,”_ Jeremy accused, “Y-You little tramp, I bet you can’t, ngh, can’t g-go a day without a cock in your ass.”

They were meeting each other’s thrusts rather harshly and Ryan was having difficulty paying attention Jeremy’s words.

“But it doesn’t f-fucking matter,” Jeremy snarled, “Because you’re mine. Even if you are a f-filthy little whore, b-begging anyone to fill you up, you’re still mine. You’re _my_ bitch.”

He gripped Ryan’s ponytail, yanking him back. Ryan’s spine curved awkwardly and he whined.

“You’re my bitch,” Jeremy huffed, breathlessly, “Say it.”

Ryan shuddered and moaned.

“I’m your bitch,” he whimpered.

“Good boy,” Jeremy praised before pushing his face against the door again, “You’re my g-good boy, aren’t you? My good l-little slut.”

Ryan moaned, but grunted in frustration, pushing back against Jeremy quicker than before. He wanted Jeremy to focus on fucking him up.

“Harder!” He whined.

Jeremy gripped the back of his neck with one hand while the other went to his hip. Ryan moaned as Jeremy drove into him.

“H-how’s that?” Jeremy panted, “Your stupid little boyfriend f-fuck you this hard, whore?”

_I’m sorry, what?_ Jeremy hips jerked sharply and Ryan jolted.

“Answer me!” Jeremy snapped, “Who the f-fuck is he? You d-don’t need him! I’m going to, ugh, drag you wh-wherever he is an-and fuck you right in front of him. I’m gonna show him who you belong t-to.”

Ryan moaned as he jerked and came on his door. _Again._ Jeremy slammed a fist into it as he came. They huffed, struggling to catch their breath.

“I meant you,” Ryan muttered around heavy breaths, “In King’s office, I was flirting with you.”

Jeremy pressed his forehead into Ryan’s shoulder blade.

“Well, now I feel like a fucking dumbass,” he grumbled. 

He sighed.

“I...thought you were trying to tell me I wasn’t special,” he admitted quietly.

“Of course you’re special,” Ryan mumbled, “I have nine locks on my door. You think I let just anyone in?”

He smiled softly as he brought up their clasped hands to kiss Jeremy’s. He wondered when their hands had found each other. 

~

Ryan regretted many of his choices in life. He did not regret taking Geoff’s advice on abstaining from sex. Not _yet_ anyway. What he _did_ regret was agreeing to get coffee for his first official date with Jeremy. 

He was sat at a small, two-person table with a mug of coffee in front of him. He was waiting patiently for Jeremy. _Very_ patiently. His leg was bouncing as he sipped the coffee, face twisting in disgust. Hopefully if some of it was missing when Jeremy showed up, he wouldn’t have to worry about choking it down in front of him. 

The door of the cafe opened and Jeremy came through it. Ryan smiled as he approached. The tension in his body eased slightly as Jeremy joined him. Ryan didn’t know what about Jeremy’s presence relaxed him, but it was a welcome oasis in the stressful desert of his life. To a lesser degree, looking at the pictures of him was also calming. They were like a fidget toy or a stress ball. Jeremy was like Xanax. 

“Hey, sorry,” Jeremy huffed as he sat down.

He was typing on his phone, looking a bit frazzled.

“Had to practically pry Burns off my back,” he grumbled, “Bitching about-“

He interrupted himself, glancing at Ryan. 

“Yeah, probably best if we don’t talk about work,” Ryan snorted. 

Jeremy puffed out a laugh, setting his phone down. He rubbed at his eyes, but he didn’t look nearly as tired as last time.

“I gotta get some coffee and pee,” He mumbled, standing up, “I’ll be right back.”

Ryan eyed the phone sitting on the table. _Definitely shouldn’t look through his phone._ Jeremy closed the bathroom door and Ryan’s hand snapped out to grab up his phone. His passcode was different. Ryan tried a few before giving up. _He chose a new one after I stole his other phone._ A proud smile tugged at Ryan’s lips. _Good boy._

The lock screen showed music paused though. Conflicted by Halestorm. It was playing from a playlist titled “Ryan”. Ryan went a bit pink as warmth bloomed in his chest. He must’ve been playing it in his car on the way to the date. Ryan put his phone back, smiling to himself. 

He recalled the way his hands shook when he sang the song to Jeremy. The way his heart had pounded in his chest. The way Jeremy had come to his side. The way he’d moved without thinking, pulling Jeremy onto the stage. The way Jeremy had taken his hand without hesitation. The way they kissed, sealing their connection like a deal with the devil. 

“So,” Jeremy drew his attention, sitting down again, “This is just personal, right?”

_I didn’t tell him it was a date,_ Ryan suddenly realized. 

“Yes, if that’s alright,” Ryan muttered, “If you prefer, we could go fight in the alleyway behind the building.”

Jeremy laughed, mirth lighting up his whole face. Ryan smiled naturally in response.

“No, I don’t want to fuck in an alleyway,” Jeremy chuckled lightly, “I prefer this.”

His hand reached across the table and took Ryan’s. Ryan heart stuttered in his chest before kickstarting into a concerning pace. _We’re holding hands. On a date. This is like real dating. Like what normal people do._ Ryan had never been normal before.

Jeremy stiffened suddenly, jerking his hand away. His whole body seemed to tense. Every bit of mirth and joy dried up, disappearing so rapidly Ryan’s head spun. Ryan felt anxiety clamp onto his throat. _What did I do?_

“Hey, Dooley!” A voice called out.

Jeremy winced, but plastered on a tight smile as someone walked up. 

“Aimes,” He greeted, “How’s it goin’, buddy?”

Ryan noted the uniform. 

“Not too bad,” the pig grunted, “Hey, good job at that courthouse case.”

They laughed at their own sarcasm. Jeremy’s tight smile was accompanied by a forced chuckle.

“Yeah, not my best work,” he admitted.

“Who’s your friend here?” The pig questioned, raising an eyebrow at Ryan.

_This fucker is ruining our date._

“Ryan,” Ryan responded, “We’re actually on a-“

_ Thump! _

“-date,” Ryan finished, wincing as Jeremy’s foot hit his shin under the table.

He threw Jeremy a sharp look. Jeremy’s eyes were wide and filled with panic.

“Wait, are you serious?” The pig demanded.

Ryan realized his mistake. _Fuck._

“No, I’m joking,” Ryan laughed, “I’m just an old friend. I got you though.”

The pig snorted out laughter.

“You did,” they agreed, “Had me goin’ for a second. Anyway, I’ll see you later Dooley.”

“Later, Aimes,” Jeremy mumbled.

Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief as the pig left. He dropped his head in his hands.

“So pigs are still pigs, huh?” Ryan scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Not all of them,” Jeremy grumbled defensively, “Just some of them...don’t like sharing a locker room with fags.”

Ryan was utterly disgusted.

“Where does he live?” He questioned, voice low, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t share a locker room with a fag _ever_ again.”

Jeremy sighed, dropping his arms to the table. He looked out the window forlornly.

“You can’t fix everything with a knife, Ry,” he murmured.

“It’s been working so far,” Ryan huffed.

Jeremy snorted, still looking out the window.

“Yeah, I’m sure it has,” he muttered, “Why are we doing this?”

He turned to look at Ryan with the saddest, most defeated eyes Ryan had ever seen. 

“Because...it feels good,” Ryan answered, looking down at his cup, “We’re enjoying ourselves, even with all the other shit. In Los Santos, happiness is hard to find, so we’re...taking what we can get.”

Jeremy’s hand squeezed his and Ryan looked up to see him smiling again. So gentle and genuine Ryan’s heart would surely explode. 

“Good answer,” he praised softly.

Ryan grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle in you beta cucks, we’re about to go on a roller coaster.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more ups and downs, but in relation to my moods.


	14. Chapter 14

Ryan was an adrenaline junkie, definitely. He loved the thrill of the chase, narrowly dodging death, running through the city while everyone joked through the earpiece. Adrenaline wasn’t the reason he got into the life, but it certainly a factor on keeping him there.

Today’s brand of adrenaline was slightly different. He wove through traffic, hearing only the roar of his bike and his own heartbeat pounding in his ear. He made a sharp turn to ride toward the overpass. Today’s adrenaline was called Jeremy.

Jeremy chasing him was one of the most arousing things Ryan had ever experienced. He was always hoping Jeremy would catch him. He really, _really_ liked being caught by Jeremy. It’d been four days since their first official date and Ryan fucking missed him. 

“Yo, Ry, come in,” Geoff’s voice grunted over the earpiece.

“Yes, boss?”

“Dooley just messaged me,” Geoff explained, “He says he advises you not to stop. He has a partner now and can’t just let one of us go.”

_A partner? A partner. A partner?!_ Ryan hated that for some reason.

“Not until he knows for sure how he’ll react,” Geoff added, “So shake him off before you get to a safe house.”

“Got it,” Ryan answered shortly.

_Partner._ Pigs were always such thunder-cunts about their partners. Something about loyalty or some bullshit like that. _Partner, why does he suddenly have a partner?! Where did this random asshole suddenly come from? More importantly where does he live?_

Ryan, exercising an insane amount of restraint, did not track down Jeremy’s new partner. He instead went to Jeremy’s place. He checked all the windows and searched the place for bugs before pacing around the living room, waiting for Jeremy to get back.

“You know, I could’ve shot you,” Jeremy pointed out dryly as he locked his door.

“Who is he?” Ryan questioned immediately.

“Who is who?” Jeremy muttered as he took off his shoes.

“Don’t play dumb!” Ryan snapped, “The fucker sharing a car with you.”

“My partner?” Jeremy grunted, “His name is Dan. He just transferred.”

He tossed his coat on the back of the couch and started toward his bedroom. Ryan followed him.

“You call him by his first name,” Ryan commented tightly.

“Yeah, he keeps insisting,” Jeremy admitted as he started dropping his clothes.

Ryan watched, silently frustrated. He was being a jealous asshole, but Jeremy was his. How were they supposed to play and flirt if some douche was going to be there now? After he was naked, Jeremy crawled into bed.

“Ry, are we fucking?” He asked tiredly.

_Is that all I am to you?_

“No.”

“Good, I’m exhausted,” Jeremy mumbled.

He promptly fell asleep and Ryan sighed heavily, a surge of guilt spiking through him. He made sure the bedroom door was locked before getting down to his underwear and crawling into bed. Jeremy turned and buried his face in Ryan’s chest as he pulled him close. He ran his hand through Jeremy’s hair as he fell into a deep sleep. Ryan wasn’t that tired, finding himself annoyed he hadn’t grabbed his phone for something to do.

Jeremy whimpered, body tensing up. Ryan rubbed circles on his back trying to soothe him. He twitched and he started to move around, pushing against Ryan. Ryan frowned. _Does he want me to leave?_ Ryan pulled back, but that caused another distressed noise to come out of Jeremy. 

_He’s having a nightmare. What do I do? Maybe sing?_ _That’s soothing sometimes, right?_ Ryan blushed. He didn’t usually sing unaccompanied or entirely as himself. He was always the Mad King persona on stage with the others. He cleared his throat. If it was for Jeremy, he would do it.

_“Close your eyes,_

_“Give me your hand, darling.”_

Ryan took Jeremy’s hand in his.

_“Do you feel my heart beating?”_

He gently pressed Jeremy’s head to his chest.

_“Do you understand?_

_“Do you feel the same?”_

Jeremy’s twitching seemed to fade.

_“Am I only dreaming,_

_“Or is this burning, an eternal flame?”_

Ryan ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair.

_“I believe it's meant to be, darling._

_“I watch you when you are sleeping._

_“You belong with me._

_“Do you feel the same?_

_“Am I only dreaming_

_“Or is this burning an eternal flame?”_

Jeremy started mumbling the next words, startling Ryan.

_“Say my name-_

_“Sun shines through the rain._

_“A whole life so lonely-_

_“And then come and ease the pain_

_“I don't want to lose this feeling, ohh.”_

Ryan pressed his nose into Jeremy’s hair. He squeezed his eyes closed. They sang together for the next part.

_ “Say my name- _

_ “Sun shines through the rain. _

_ “A whole life so lonely- _

_ “And then come and ease the pain _

_ “I don't want to lose this feeling, ohh.” _

Ryan tried not to cry. He squeezed Jeremy’s hand tighter.

_I don’t want to lose this feeling._

~

Ryan woke up in an empty bed that wasn’t his, without a gun under the pillow or knives under the mattress or behind the headboard. He jerked upright, looking around wildly. _What the fuck?_ He recognized it as Jeremy’s bedroom. He puffed out a sigh of relief. Then noticed the alarm clock. He winced. 

_Geoff’s gonna be pissed I stayed over._ He dropped back onto the pillow. _I don’t wanna work today._ He sniffed the air, sitting up on his elbows. _Is that...food?_ He could hear music too. He slipped out of bed to follow the sounds and smells.

_“Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.”_

Jeremy was singing along to Eternal Flame playing from somewhere in the kitchen.

_“Do you feel my heart beating-_

_“Do you understand?”_

He also appeared to be cooking breakfast.

_“Do you feel the same?_

_“Am I only dreaming-_

_“Or is this burning an eternal flame?”_

Ryan smiled, walking up behind him. Jeremy smiled up at him as he put his arms around him.

“Your voice is beautiful,” Ryan murmured.

Jeremy blushed.

“Not as good as yours,” he muttered, refocusing on the eggs, “I hope you like scrambled.”

“Anything is nice,” Ryan admitted, “I don’t get a lot of home-cooked meals.”

“Stay over more often,” Jeremy suggested, “Oh, I plugged in your phone. It wouldn’t stop going off for awhile. I think you got like a million calls and messages.”

Ryan sighed, dropping his chin onto Jeremy’s head.

“I don’t wanna work today,” he pouted, “I wanna stay with you.”

Jeremy chuckled at him.

“Alright, then let’s ditch,” He offered, “We’ll call in sick and go on a day trip.”

“I’m a criminal, Jer,” Ryan snorted, “We don’t just call in sick.”

“Do it anyway,” Jeremy insisted, “Come on, you said you want to be with me today.”

“I can’t,” Ryan huffed, “King will have an aneurysm.”

“He can’t run the city one day without you?” Jeremy scoffed.

Ryan hummed, frowning. _Just because he could, doesn’t mean I should make him._ Jeremy shifted to look up at him with wide, teary eyes.

“Don’t you want to spend the day with me?” He mumbled.

_Fuck. He’s so adorable and sad._

“D-Don’t look at me like that,” Ryan grumbled.

Jeremy sniffled.

“Alright!” Ryan snapped, “Just stop doing the puppy eyes!”

Jeremy grinned triumphantly and Ryan sighed. _Truly, I did not consider the repercussions of being near this man._

“Did you know you sing in your sleep?” Ryan brought up as revenge.

Jeremy went red and looked back at the eggs.

“I-I do?” He stammered.

Ryan grinned, nosing up to his red ear.

“Yes, you were singing this last night,” he confirmed, “You’re so romantic in your sleep, Jeremy.”

Jeremy covered his face and Ryan laughed gleefully at his embarrassment. 

“So cute, little piglet,” He cooed, “I like when you’re red.”

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy huffed, “You’re an asshole! And you’re gonna make me burn the eggs!”

He batted Ryan away to take the pan off the stove. 

“Your phone’s in the living room, by the way,” he muttered, “I didn’t want it to wake you. Though you slept through some of it. You seemed really tired.”

_**I** seemed tired?_ Ryan frowned as he went to the living room to talk to Geoff. Most of the messages were “Call me now!” 

“Ryan!” Geoff shrieked when he did just that, “Please tell me you’re okay!”

“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” Ryan grunted, “I just spent the night at Jeremy’s.”

“Thank Christ!” Geoff huffed, sighing in relief, “We were all worried sick! Just tell us next time!”

Ryan smiled a very tiny smile as warmth bloomed in his heart. _I guess they really do care._

“When are you getting back to the house?” Geoff grumbled.

“Actually...I was wondering if I could have the day off,” Ryan mumbled nervously. 

“Oh, your boyfriend got a day off?” Geoff asked.

“Uh, I-I dunno if w-we’re...y-yes,” Ryan stammered, before regaining confidence, _“Yes._ He got a day off.”

“Okay, sure,” Geoff answered, “Have fun. But hey, if you’re going to be disappearing now and then, let us track your damn phone so we know where you are!”

Ryan’s stomach churned and he felt like puking.

“I-I’ll tell you next time,” he assured him.

Geoff sighed heavily.

“Alright, buddy,” he agreed, sounding tired, “I’ll talk to you later.”

They hung up and Ryan stared at his phone a moment. Just thinking of being traceable was enough to panic him. 

“Ryan?”

Ryan jumped, instinctively throwing his fist out toward the source of the noise. Jeremy sputtered as the plate of food was knocked, sending the food into his face. The plate broke in half. Ryan froze while Jeremy looked at the two plate halves in his hands.

“That was...cool as fuck!” Jeremy exclaimed, face lighting up, “I mean, minus the food part. Holy shit! This is one of my good plates too! It’s like three times as thick as the others! You gotta teach me how to do that! Is your hand okay?”

“Uh...y-yeah?” Ryan mumbled, taken aback.

“It was like an instinct too, whoa!” Jeremy went on, “I probably couldn’t do it if I focused on it! You’re super strong! You’re like a superhero!”

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Super _villain,”_ he corrected, “And you’re definitely strong enough to do it. You pull your punches.”

“I do?!” Jeremy demanded.

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. Did Jeremy genuinely not realize how amazing he was? 

“You sell yourself short,” Ryan muttered, “You’re very strong and capable...for a piglet.”

Jeremy was pink as he looked down at the broken plate. He held the two halves together and a smile spread on his face. Then he grinned up at Ryan. Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest. This little goofball was holding a broken plate, covered in egg after Ryan could’ve broken his nose and he was grinning. Ryan swooped down and kissed the grin.

_Sun shines through the rain._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re so close boyos.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant


	15. Chapter 15

“When you said day trip, I was imagining more cocktails on a beach or something,” Ryan muttered.

“You’re telling me you’d rather play in the sand?” Jeremy snorted.

“No, no, I like this,” Ryan assured him, “Just not what I was expecting.”

He looked back at the skeleton on display.

“A bit morbid for a second date, isn’t it?” He commented.

“Too morbid for the Vagabond?” Jeremy snorted.

Ryan visibly flinched at the name, but grinned at him.

“I was more worried about your sensitive pig stomach, detective,” He taunted.

Jeremy frowned at him.

“You don’t like me calling you that,” he accused.

“Calling me what?” Ryan grunted, raising an eyebrow.

Jeremy crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow right back, clearly not impressed.

“You say I lie,” he pointed out, “But _you_ won’t say anything.”

“I am the strong silent type,” Ryan joked.

“Why...do you not trust me?” Jeremy asked, crossed arms dropping partly, “I...I haven’t told anyone. I wouldn’t.”

He stared at the floor, suddenly looking very small.

“I thought we...were past that,” he mumbled, “I thought you trusted me now.”

Ryan’s heart wrenched. _Look how adorable and sad he is! Look what you’ve done, you monster!_

“Jeremy, I don’t trust anyone,” He muttered, “I don’t even let Gold track my phone for emergencies.”

Jeremy looked up at him, searching him for the truth, it seemed. He sighed, dropping his head again.

“This is hopeless, isn’t it?” He murmured, “Our...whatever this is, it’s not going to end well.”

Ryan took his hands in his and squeezed them lightly. Jeremy looked up at him, searching now for hope. He wanted Ryan to tell him it was all going to be okay.

“No duh, it’s going to end badly,” Ryan snorted, “We’ve known that from the beginning, haven’t we? We know the end will come, it’s fucking Los Santos for fuck’s sake, if we don’t end poorly together, then we end poorly apart.”

Jeremy squeezed his hand tightly and stared at him with such a frantic look that Ryan felt anxiety surge in him.

“Ryan, I-“

He was interrupted by his phone ringing. He jolted in surprise and pulled it out to answer it, pulling back from Ryan.

“Dooley,” he answered the call.

_Pigs?_ His frown turned into an expression of shock.

“They’re doing _what?!”_ He demanded, “Without the Vagabond?!”

Ryan’s focus sharpened. 

“What do you mean he’s-?” Jeremy started, glancing up at Ryan. 

He interrupted himself with a brief look of panic.

“I thought he was on an out of town job,” he quickly lied.

He pressed his hand against his forehead, head dipping as his eyes closed.

“No, don’t...” He muttered, “Because you won’t have backup... Welcome to the City of Saints, Dan.”

Ryan scowled. _His stupid new partner is ruining our date._

“No, I’m over in Venturas...” Jeremy continued, “Yeah, well, I didn’t know this would happen!”

He sighed heavily and went quiet a moment.

“You done?” He muttered tiredly, “No amount of righteous speeches will save you in Los Santos, Dan. I promise you if you go in, they will hurt you...Because every interaction I’ve had with them as been painful. Just listen to me, for fuck’s sake! I know them better than anyone. You’re going to get hurt if you go in.”

Ryan sighed, annoyed and turned away. He jumped in surprise as he saw Vagabond’s empty eye sockets staring at him accusingly. _No, wait, that’s the skeleton. The bone is white not black._

Jeremy let out a frustrated noise and pulled his phone away from his ear. He tapped the phone a couple times before returning it to his ear. The frown deepened as he did this two more times.

“I need to go back,” he grumbled, “Let’s go.”

He gripped Ryan’s hand and dragged him away before Ryan’s brain could catch up. Jeremy pushed him into the passenger seat before going around to the driver’s side.

“Jeremy, what’s happening?” Ryan grunted as they pulled out.

“Dan just decided to go into a bank being robbed by the Fakes,” Jeremy explained, “Dumbass is going to get hurt. I need to go make sure he doesn’t get himself seriously injured or killed.”

_Shit, that was today?? I totally forgot._

“They’re not gonna kill him,” Ryan assured him.

“Small blessings, I guess,” Jeremy muttered.

“Why do you care?” Ryan mumbled.

“Because I think he’s a good guy,” Jeremy answered, “And he’s my partner.”

_ Partner. _

“You pigs and your partners,” Ryan huffed.

_Damn pig is ruining my fucking date!_

“Jealous, much?” Jeremy snorted.

“Shut up!” Ryan snapped, “I’m not jealous! I’m just annoyed! I was having a good time with you.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Jeremy cooed.

Ryan blushed, looking out the window.

“Whatever, anyway, why are you in such a hurry?” He grumbled, “He’s fine.”

“Because that’s what partners are for,” Jeremy pointed out, “Why the hell would we bother having them if we didn’t watch their backs?”

“You didn’t have one before,” Ryan argued, “Why do you suddenly care about having one now?”

“Because I was assigned to him,” Jeremy grunted, “You don’t get to choose your partner.”

“Then why do you give a fuck if he gets hurt?!” Ryan demanded.

“Because I think he’s a good guy!” Jeremy answered, voice raising.

“You barely know him!” Ryan insisted, “Why would you care?!”

“You barely know me either!” Jeremy spat, “But you still take my cock like a fucking slut!”

“That’s different!” Ryan shouted.

“Is it?!” Jeremy yelled back, “I’ve known him a week, Ryan! What were we doing a week after we met?!”

Ryan felt something icy in his chest.

“Are you fucking him?” He breathed.

Jeremy threw him a glare.

“That’s not what I meant,” he growled, “I’m trying to make a fucking point.”

“And what point is that?” Ryan sneered, “That you’ll cling to anyone who gives you positive attention?”

“Yes!” Jeremy shrieked, “You don’t get it! I don’t have anyone else! I don’t have family! I don’t have a crew! I’m alone!”

He swerved off the road and parked, shoving the heels of his hands into his eyelids. Ryan’s heart ached.

“Jeremy, I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I didn’t mean that...but you’re not alone. You have me.”

“No, I don’t,” Jeremy mumbled into his hands, “I-I can’t do this!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ryan grumbled, “What did I do?”

He grabbed Jeremy’s wrist, trying to tug his hand away from his face. Jeremy turned away, pulling open the door. Ryan kept ahold of his wrist, stopping him from getting out. Jeremy yanked on his wrist, trying to pull away.

“Let go!” He shouted.

“What did I do?” Ryan demanded, “Tell me what I did wrong!”

“You didn’t do anything!” Jeremy insisted, yanking harder on his wrist, “I just don’t want to do this any more!”

“Why?!” Ryan shouted, pulling him back, “Just tell me!”

Jeremy turned as Ryan pulled him back.

“You’re hurting me!” Jeremy cried, tears running down his face.

Ryan let go in a panic. _I hurt him._ Jeremy turned back away. His shoulders hunched. _I hurt him._

“Jeremy,” Ryan whispered.

“J-Just don’t make m-me do this,” Jeremy sobbed.

“Okay, I won’t,” Ryan promised, “I’m...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... I’m sorry...I’ll go.”

Jeremy didn’t turn back around as Ryan left the car. His shoulders were shaking. Ryan felt suddenly torn apart as he walked away from the car, from Jeremy. _This is it, isn’t it? It’s over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Bodies is a real museum in Las Vegas. No extra credit for figuring out what they have in display. 
> 
> Follow @1stworldmutant for more morbid second dates.


	16. Chapter 16

“Ry, wait!” Jeremy shouted.

Ryan didn’t want to hope. Didn’t want to get crushed. He turned, tears in his eyes as Jeremy came towards him. _Please, you hold my heart in your hands and it is so very fragile._ Jeremy took one of his hands.

“Y-You really didn’t do an-anything,” he promised, sniffling, “I-I’m...it’s just-“

He interrupted himself to rub at his eyes. _He’s so adorable, so sad._ Ryan’s heart was squeezing tighter and tighter. _If I didn’t do anything wrong, why are you crying?_

“Ryan, I’m...sc-scared,” he mumbled tearfully, “I-I’m scared that I’ll be like Luna and y-you’ll be sad again when I die.”

Ryan squinted at him in confusion.

“I wasn’t sad when Luna died,” he grunted, “What are you talking about?”

Jeremy went pink and looked away.

“Under the overpass,” he mumbled, “After you found out about Luna you seemed really upset and when King called you, you seemed really defeated. I...thought you were sad.”

“No, I was pissed someone was trying to frame me,” Ryan grumbled, “Annoyed we had to deal with a new pig, annoyed it was you, and I was fucking tired. I had the outburst because I had a long day and I just wanted to fuck you, but Geoff was pestering me. Then after that Geoff was being understanding as fuck about my outburst, which just annoyed me more. And I knew I was going to have to leave soon and I wouldn’t get to fuck a second time. I also had to deal with a new phone because of the outburst. It was just a fucking terrible day that was beating me down and I didn’t feel better despite getting to see you and fuck your tight ass. Which _was_ amazing. Plus that little scream you-“

“O-okay!” Jeremy choked, face red, “G-got it! I was wrong!”

Ryan glad he’d interrupted him. That was more talking about his feelings than he’d ever done before. Jeremy covered his blushing face and Ryan thought maybe it was time to break the celibacy pact. _Fuck, he’s so damn cute. I wanna make him scream._ Jeremy dropped his hands and grinned up at Ryan.

“I’m so relieved,” he sniffled, “I’m so fucking relieved.”

_Wait, about what?_ Jeremy stretched onto his toes to kiss him. Ryan pressed back, relaxing. _It’s not over. I don’t ever want it to be over._ Jeremy’s pretty, warm lips parted and Ryan melted against him. Jeremy’s hands slid over his shoulders and Ryan pulled him closer by the waist. _So soft and warm and calm._

“Ry, we have to go,” Jeremy mumbled as he pulled back.

“We don’t,” Ryan insisted, kissing his neck, “I told you, Geoff’s not gonna hurt him.”

“You’re sure?” Jeremy pressed.

Ryan pulled back with a sigh.

“If you’re that worried, we should go,” He grumbled, “But I wouldn’t be tempting you right now if I actually thought he was in danger. Worst case scenario, the guy gets a black eye.”

“Fucking good enough,” Jeremy growled, gripping his jacket and yanking him down, “Now fuck me.”

They smashed together, hands groping at each other while Ryan backed Jeremy into the trunk of his car. He sucked and bit marks all over his neck and Jeremy moaned beautifully. The moan vibrated his throat under Ryan’s mouth, sending shudders through him. He pressed his lips to Jeremy’s ear. 

“I’m gonna make you fucking _scream_ my name,” he growled.

Jeremy choked out a moan as Ryan lifted him up onto the trunk and ripped open his pants before he yanked him around. He pulled Jeremy’s jeans and underwear down while he struggled to brace his knees on the bumper. He tried to crawl up and away, but Ryan gripped his hair to keep him still. 

He let out a whine of pain, shuffling back as he clawed at Ryan’s hand. Ryan shuddered as he watched him struggling. _Fuck, this is so fucked up,_ he thought for the millionth time. Ryan pulled lube from his pocket and clicked the cap open. 

Jeremy shuddered and his knees slipped again. Ryan smirked as he poured the lube on his ass, letting it drip down over his asshole. Jeremy groaned, his back dipping. Ryan put the lube away and rubbed his fingers over Jeremy’s slick asshole.

“R-Ryan,” Jeremy huffed, “P-please!”

_Please._ Ryan shoved a finger inside him and Jeremy moaned, back arching. He was folding in on himself, struggling to stay up on the car. He whined when Ryan added a second finger and started sobbing in pain. 

“For as hard as you give it,” Ryan grunted, “You’re a little bitch when you take it.”

“I’m n-not used to it!” Jeremy whined defensively.

_The fuck does that mean?_ Ryan wondered as he fingered him. _Not used to it. Meaning he hadn’t done it before._ Ass like that and he was a virgin? That was practically a crime.

“R-Ry, please hurry!” Jeremy cried.

Ryan pressed him down firmly over the trunk as he opened his pants. Jeremy squirmed until Ryan pushed his cock against him. He froze, panting harshly as Ryan pressed inside. He bared his clenched teeth as he screamed. Ryan shuddered. Despite the pain he was in, Jeremy’s ass accepted his cock like he was made for it. 

“Greedy little asshole you’ve got, piglet,” Ryan huffed, rocking back and forth, “You’re screaming in pain and yet you’re sucking me in. Have you always been such a pain slut?”

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy whimpered.

“Of course you have,” Ryan muttered.

He gripped the back of Jeremy’s neck and fucked him, jostling him against the car which rocked from the force he was putting behind it. 

“Ryan, please!” Jeremy sobbed, “I-I wanna cum!”

“Mm, why should I let you?” Ryan mused, “Aren’t you, anh, m-my toy? My little fleshlight? Toys d-don’t cum, baby.”

“Y-Yes! Yes! I’m y-your toy!” Jeremy shrieked, “U-use me! Ryan, I-I’m yours!”

Ryan angled for his prostate and as promised, Jeremy screamed his name as he came. Ryan grunted, his thrusts stuttering as he came. He huffed, slumping over him. 

“J-Just so you know, th-that was not makeup sex!” Jeremy grunted breathlessly, “S-so let’s not have arguments for that!”

“Remind me when my legs are working again,” Ryan muttered.

“You’re a dickhead,” Jeremy grumbled, “Get out of me, we need to leave.”

Ryan whined as he pulled away, getting tissues to wipe him up. 

“I’m kinda offended,” Ryan admitted as they got themselves cleaned up, “We don’t actually kill every cop on sight, you know. Unless it’s life or death or if me or Geoff are captured.”

“But not the rest of you?” Jeremy prompted, frowning.

“No, we can get the others out easy,” Ryan explained, “Me and Geoff though, the FBI will get involved. If you actually managed to catch us, it’d be extremely difficult to get us back out. If we could do it at all. I might actually just go missing. Geoff they’d want to question.”

“Go missing?” Jeremy grunted, “What do you mean?”

“Execution,” Ryan answered, as he tossed the tissues, “But off the record. They go to transfer me and on the way, I mysteriously vanish. Dissolve the body in lye and the Vagabond is never heard from again. Cole and Roe my ass.”

He looked at Jeremy to check he was alright to find him pale and shaky.

“Jer?” He called softly, “You okay?”

“No,” Jeremy mumbled, “Why doesn’t that scare you?”

“Why would that scare me?” Ryan grunted.

Jeremy puffed out a dry laugh.

“Jesus, Ry,” He muttered, “You’re scary sometimes.”

“It’s not like _you’re_ gonna catch me,” Ryan snorted.

“Rude,” Jeremy grumbled, crossing his arms, “Accurate, but fucking rude.”

_Adorable. It should be fucking illegal how adorable he is._ Ryan cupped his jaw, brushing his thumb over the little line he’d put on Jeremy’s cheek with his knife. 

“Think it’ll scar?” Jeremy asked, smiling softly.

Ryan leaned forward and pressed his lips to it.

“I can dream,” he murmured.

~

“Haywood, office, now!” Geoff barked as soon as he was through the door.

Ryan jumped up quickly to march after him. He stood at attention in front of his desk as he dropped things from his pockets. Phone, trinkets, and a folded up envelope. Ryan was sweating pretty badly as he waited. Geoff sat and pulled himself closer to the desk.

“Would you care to tell me why the hell Dooley showed up to the bank covered in your marks?” He questioned tightly.

_ Oops. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me @1stworldmutant to help make me slightly less miserable.


	17. Chapter 17

Ryan felt his insides start to shrivel. _Shit. I was too careless._

“I don’t know-“

“Before you choose to lie, Haywood,” Geoff interrupted, “Let me share with you some interesting things that happened today.”

He was doing things, moving the trinkets, opening the envelope, looking very calm, but very deadly. Like a viper waiting to strike.

“Detective Dooley’s new partner was at the bank,” he muttered.

Ryan could feel sweat dripping down his back along his spine.

“Claimed his partner was in Venturas,” Geoff continued, “Had taken a sick day, but it turned out Dooley had just run off for some reason.”

Ryan was struggling not to nervously swallow. _Vipers attack if they see any sign of weakness, right?_

“Then Dooley showed up,” Geoff went on, “In casual clothes, claiming to have been on a date. That’s interesting, isn’t it?”

He pressed the tips of his fingers together, looking evenly up at Ryan whose eyes flicked down at him and back up. 

“S-Sir?” He prompted.

“Gavin found no evidence of a boyfriend,” Geoff explained coolly, “Insisted he was not getting laid, not dating, and as far as he could tell, not looking either. Gavin was _very_ insistent in fact. Yet suddenly, he was on a date. A date he’d taken a sick day for.”

_Alright. Well, it was a good run, but now I’m gonna die._

“On the same day _you_ took a sick day for a date,” Geoff added, “After spending the night at “Jeremy’s place”.”

_Fuck, I accidentally slipped his name._

“So let me rephrase, Corporal Haywood,” Geoff barked, “You will tell me why Dooley is covered in your marks!”

“I’ve been pursuing a sexual relationship with him, sir!” Ryan snapped off.

“And why, Haywood, did you not think this vital information for your commanding officer?” Geoff questioned.

“I did, sir!”

“Then why did you not divulge this vital information?” Geoff pressed.

“I was afraid, sir!”

“Afraid of what, Corporal?” Geoff sneered, “Afraid of me?”

“No, sir!”

“Then what?!” Geoff demanded, voice strangled, “Why would you hide this from me?!”

“We wanted to continue the relationship, sir,” Ryan answered, his voice weakening, “We didn’t want anyone to stop us.”

“You know how this ends,” Geoff spoke quietly.

“Yes, sir,” Ryan mumbled.

“Then why continue?” Geoff pressed, “You both risk everything for this.”

“It’s like you always say, sir,” Ryan muttered, “In Los Santos, happiness is hard to find, so we’ll take what we can get.”

Geoff was quiet a long, long moment and Ryan was filled with anxiety. 

“You are to stop all non-work related contact with Detective Dooley,” Geoff ordered, “This is over now. You will no longer pursue this relationship.”

Ryan’s stomach dropped.

“Y-Yes...” he murmured, struggling, “S-S...”

He squeezed his burning eyes closed. His heart was ripped in half. Geoff was his oldest, most trusted friend. Jeremy was new, they’d barely known each other a few months.

_I don’t have a crew! I’m alone!_

Jeremy’s words echoed through his skull. Ryan had a family to lean on. Ryan had people to watch his back. Jeremy had no one. The whole police force had abandoned him and now Geoff wanted Ryan to do that too. Ryan couldn’t do that. Didn’t _want_ to do that. He never wanted it to end. 

“I can’t stop,” Ryan breathed, almost physically pained from rejecting an order, “I want to be with him no matter what.”

He opened his eyes, looking ahead once more. He ignored the tears running down his face.

“S-Sir,” he added weakly.

Geoff sniffled and Ryan dropped his head to look at him in alarm. 

“Ry, I’m so happy!” Geoff cried, “You finally disobeyed a direct order!”

He was looking at him with the proudest, most sparkling eyes Ryan had ever seen.

“You didn’t mean it,” he realized, “You just wanted to see what he meant to me.”

“Damn, that was so sweet,” Geoff huffed, rubbing at his eyes, “Like a robot learning to love and breaking his programming!”

Ryan blushed, looking away.

“I-I’m not a robot!” he sputtered defensively, “I-I have feelings! This isn’t news!”

“Yeah, but you always refuse to share them,” Geoff pointed out, “And you’re constantly trying to ignore them. I’m just so glad you’re breaking free of that. I-I’ve been trying to encourage you, but I’m not great at it.”

Ryan’s chest filled with affection for Geoff, for the crew, and for Jeremy. He really did feel like a cold robot finally waking up. Not that he wanted Geoff to know that.

“So how do we get him in the crew?” Geoff questioned, siting forward and wiping away tears, “You said he’d make a better criminal, do you think he’ll be open to the idea?”

“But you said you wanted to keep our connect to the pigs,” Ryan grunted, “Why would you give it up for this?”

“It’s like I always say,” Geoff answered, grinning, “In Los Santos, happiness is hard to find, so we’ll take what we can get. So do you think he’s up for it?”

“I’m...not sure,” Ryan mumbled, “I’m still not totally sure what I mean to him. I mean...I don’t know if he feels the same as I do.”

“I don’t want to make assumptions,” Geoff grunted, “But he seems like he does. Despite looking like he lost a fight with a bear, he was absolutely glowing when he showed up. He practically had cartoon heart eyes.”

Ryan brightened, the warmth surging through him. _Really? Does Jeremy feel the same?_

“That look right there,” Geoff snorted, “However you’re feeling now, that’s what he was feeling.”

_So maybe he does?? Maybe. A really hard maybe._ Ryan felt a balloon of hope swell inside him. But he couldn’t just assume that it was true. He needed to be sure.

“I want you to ask him to join,” Ryan requested, “Don’t mention me or let him know that you’re aware of us.”

“You want to know for sure it’s something _he_ actually wants,” Geoff guessed.

Ryan nodded, feeling a bit relieved to be understood. Communication was never his strong suit. 

“And if he says no?” Geoff prompted.

“Then I...I don’t know,” Ryan admitted, “I’ll talk to him, I guess. We’ll figure out what we’re going to do.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Geoff agreed, “I’ll talk to him and let you know what he says.”

“Thank you, s-...thank you, Geoff,” Ryan murmured, “This means the world to me.”

“Hey, what’s family for?” Geoff joked, “We’ve got your back, Ry, but we also love you. Now shoo, go make yourself useful.”

He made a shooing motion with his hand and Ryan laughed as he left.

~

_I don’t want to see you any more, outside of work. Our physical relationship must end._

Ryan was staring forlornly out the window, holding a mug of coffee as the text Jeremy sent him was wallpapered on the inside of his skull. Geoff had talked to Jeremy and he’d outright refused before storming from the house and texting Ryan to break up with him. Which was a real dick move, by the way. 

_I don’t want to see you any more._

Ryan wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He didn’t know what to apologize for. Geoff said he didn’t even mention him, neither had Jeremy. He was completely uninvolved and yet he’d still gotten broken up with.

Why had he been so mad after the meeting? What about joining the crew pissed him off so much? Did he think Ryan was trying to force him into the crew? Did actually hate all of them? Whatever it was, was it Ryan’s fault or not? It probably was, but what was it?

_What did I do?_

Ryan needed to retrace his steps, rewind the last few days to try to figure what was happening. He went to Geoff’s office and put the coffee down. Geoff was out.

Ryan stood in front of the desk at attention. He rewound the conversation from the day before last.

_ So how do we get him in the crew? _

_ I want to be with him no matter what. _

_ I’ve been pursuing a sexual relationship with him, sir! _

Ryan moved back out to the living room. 

_Haywood, office, now!_

Ryan went to the garage. Michael was there. He tugged on his shirt.

“Ry? What’s up?” He muttered, pulling out of the hood of a car.

Ryan pulled him around and put him in the driver’s seat. He frowned, but stayed put as Ryan moved around to the passenger side.

_I’ll see you later, Ry._

Ryan moved back around, pulling Michael out of the car and around to the trunk. He gripped his waist and hoisted him up onto it. He blushed a bit, squeezing the wrench in his hand.

“Ryan, what are you doing?” He mumbled.

Ryan touched his cheek, running his thumb across it. Michael went scarlet red.

_I can dream._

_“Ryan,”_ Michael warned, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, but you better watch it.”

Ryan pulled his hand away.

_It’s not like you’re gonna catch me._

_Why doesn’t that scare you?_

Ryan pantomimed tossing tissues away.

_ Dissolve the body in lye and the Vagabond is never heard from again. _

Ryan paused the rewind. _No, that can’t be it._ If Jeremy wanted to prevent that from happening he’d want to _quit_ being a cop, not be mad that Geoff suggested it. He resumed. He put his hand on Michael’s shoulder. 

_Remind me when my legs are working again._

“Ryan, you’re seriously freaking me out,” Michaelmurmured, “Are you okay?

“Shh.”

“That’s not reassuring!” Michael hissed.

Ryan put his other hand on the car and rocked it back and forth. 

_Ryan, please!_

Ryan moved the pushing hand between Michael’s knees. Michael squirmed. 

“I hope this is fucking important,” he grumbled.

Ryan dropped his hand and pulled Michael close by his shoulder.

_ I’m gonna make you fucking  scream  my name. _

He pulled back, taking Michael’s waist to pull him off the car and backed up with him. He pulled Michael closer.

_So soft and warm and calm._

“You’re going to get a knee to the nuts if you even _think_ about kissing me!” Michael growled.

Ryan pulled back, letting go of him.

“Smile.”

Michael frowned at him. 

“Please.”

Michael’s face softened and he forced a smile.

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

Ryan rubbed his head, frowning. What was he relieved about? He turned Michael’s head away.

_ I...thought you were sad. _

_ I wasn’t sad when Luna died. _

_ I-I’m scared that I’ll be like Luna and y-you’ll be sad again when I die. _

Ryan paled, his hands and legs started shaking.

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

He pantomimed tossing the tissues again.

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

He couldn’t breathe, he dropped to his knees.

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

Michael asked him what was wrong, if he was okay, but Ryan couldn’t respond. Jeremy was mad because he wanted to be disposable. The lying, the sarcasm, his depressive feelings about their relationship, going out of his way to let them believe he was a bad guy. It wasn’t that he was actively suicidal, it was that he wanted his death to mean nothing to them, to _Ryan._

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

And he’d thought he’d succeeded. He thought Ryan didn’t care if he died and had no reason to believe any of the others would give a fuck. Then suddenly Geoff asked him to join up. Of course he was upset. He’d reached his goal and then had it all snatched back from him. 

_I’m so relieved. I’m so fucking relieved._

He probably thought Ryan would stop caring if their physical relationship ended. Maybe he thought the crew only gave a shit because of Ryan and if Ryan didn’t care, then they’d view him like a tissue to be used and thrown away. Ryan bent over, arms around his squeezing guts as he let out a sobbing scream.

“Jeremy!” He cried at the garage floor, “You fucking idiot!”

He dissolved into sobs. _You could never be disposable! Never in a million years could you be disposable! I love you! I love you so much it _fucking_ hurts! I love you!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take that to your feels.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more feels.


	18. Chapter 18

Ryan’s hands were shaking and his insides burned like his organs were being devoured by acid. Jeremy wasn’t answering his phone. He wouldn’t reply to Ryan’s texts either. Ryan sobbed on his knees in the garage so long his legs started to go numb.

Gavin and Michael tried to help, asking him what he needed, but he didn’t bother trying to answer them. He needed Jeremy. If he wouldn’t answer his phone, then Ryan would find him and talk face to face. He needed to know that Ryan cared about him, he needed to know he wasn’t alone and that Ryan loved him. And Ryan desperately needed to tell him.

Ryan’s hand shot out and gripped the front of Gavin’s jacket as he crouched down next to him. Gavin squawked, flailing a bit as Ryan yanked him closer. Ryan’s other hand gripped his jaw tightly.

“Where is he?” He growled.

Gavin cautiously pulled his phone from his pocket, careful not to make sudden movements and Ryan released his jaw so he could look down at it. He tapped a few times and then frowned.

“It says he’s in Mirror Park,” Gavin grunted, “Is he looking into Luna still? I thought Geoff said we took over.”

Ryan stood abruptly, taking Gavin up with him. He was still holding his jacket. He let go and rubbed away his tears.

“G-Gavin, I need that,” he sniffled, “I need to track him, h-how do I do it? Please.”

Gavin smiled gently at him and held out the phone.

“Just take this with you,” he suggested, “The passcode is Fake, 3253. I may not get you guys, but I know a real connection when I see it. Go chase true love, Ryebread.”

Ryan seized him in a hug, lifting him off the ground.

“Thank you!” He sobbed.

“Y-you’re welcome, mate, put me down though,” Gavin wheezed.

Ryan dropped him and patted his head before turning to get his bike. He jammed his helmet on and opened the garage door. 

“Good luck, Ryan!” Gavin called as he lift the garage, “We’re rooting for you!”

Ryan smiled a very watery smile as he zipped away. The crew really was his family. 

~

Ryan frowned at the phone Gavin gave him. According to the tracking app, Jeremy’s phone was in this house. But Jeremy’s car wasn’t nearby. Ryan felt something in his guts clench. 

_Something’s not right._

He drove his bike around the corner and parked it. He pulled his mask on before sending a text to the crew and making his way to the house. It was mostly dark in the house and heavy curtains lined all the above ground windows. He carefully leaned down over one of the window wells for the basement to peek inside.

The window was dirty and difficult to see anything through, but Ryan could make out a few figures sitting around a table. A wall with a closed door divided the room in half. Ryan recognized the orange colors of the FunHaus gang. The house would explain why they were always hanging about Mirror Park. 

The scenario was easy to figure out. Jeremy came looking and found them. They didn’t take too kindly to this and now Jeremy was in the other half of the basement. Ryan dropped to the ground and crawled lowly around the window to stop his shadow from passing over it. 

As predicted, Jeremy was in fact in the other half of the basement. He looked pretty calm for a guy who’d been kidnapped. They’d stripped him to his underwear and he was shackled to the wall. Other than looking incredibly bored, he seemed unaffected by his situation. Ryan started to open the window as the door to this half of the room opened. He stayed out of view as much as he could while still watching.

“What, is it feeding time?” Jeremy quipped as the man who entered came forward.

“No, bitch, it’s time to sing,” the man grunted, “Are you ready to tell us what you know?”

“I already told you what I know,” Jeremy grumbled, “Just because you don’t like the answer, doesn’t mean it’s not the truth.”

“You’ve interacted with them more than any other outsider,” the man pointed out.

“Buddy, you don’t know the half of it,” Jeremy muttered bitterly, “But it doesn’t mean I know anything.”

“Just give us their names,” the man growled.

“Why would I know their names?” Jeremy scoffed, “As if they go blabbing to a damn pig about their real names.”

Ryan’s heart squeezed. _He won’t tell them anything, despite how much he knows._ The man came closer and gripped his chin. Ryan felt a protective fire in his chest and growl rise up his throat. Jeremy didn’t need his protection though. Not really. 

His foot snapped up, slamming the guy in the crotch and he clocked him. As the guy stumbled to the side, Jeremy awkwardly tackled him from a crouched position. The guy fell, his head hitting the ground with a sharp smack. He stilled and Jeremy checked his pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief as he retrieved the man’s gun and keys and unlocked the shackles. Ryan eased the window open.

“Jeremy!” He whispered urgently.

Jeremy’s head jerked over to him as he finished unlocking the restraints. A soft, affectionate smile crossed his face and Ryan felt warmth all over. _Does he-?_ The look was gone in the blink of an eye, replaced by a cold stare.

“Get out of here, Ry,” he muttered, checking that the gun was loaded.

“Th-this is work!” Ryan insisted.

Jeremy turned and gave him a frustrated, annoyed look. Ryan’s eyes dropped to his chest where the cuts were. It’d been a week since then, but they were so shallow they were mostly healed. They probably weren’t going to scar. 

“Did Geoff send you?” Jeremy grunted, redrawing Ryan’s attention.

_Way to stare creepily, Haywood._

“Well...no,” Ryan mumbled.

“Then it’s not work, is it?” Jeremy sneered.

“It could be!” Ryan argued.

“But it _isn’t!”_ Jeremy hissed.

“Can’t you just accept a rescue?” Ryan snapped.

“Go home, Ry,” Jeremy ordered firmly, “I don’t need you.”

“I know that!” Ryan shouted, “You don’t need anyone, you’re fucking amazing! _I_ need _you!”_

He turned to fire on the approaching FunHaus thugs. 

“You don’t!” Jeremy growled as he fired on the ones inside.

“Fine, I _want_ you!” Ryan countered, slamming a boot into a shin, “I want to be with you!”

He grunted as he rolled out of the way of someone else’s boot.

“Well, I don’t want to be with you!” Jeremy yelled.

Ryan jumped up and slammed his foot into a set of ribs. 

“You just don’t think you’re allowed to be happy!” Ryan snapped as he swept his leg back into another set of ribs.

“Who cares what I think?!” Jeremy shrieked.

Ryan ducked a swing and pitched forward.

“I do!” Ryan screamed, tackling the person who swung, “How do you not get that I care about you?!”

He grunted as they landed on the path.

“I don’t care!” Jeremy cried, “I don’t _want_ you to care about me!”

“Too!” Ryan snarled as he whacked a jaw with his fist.

“Fucking!” _Whack!_

“Bad!” _Whack!_

_Smack!_

Ryan slumped forward as a blunt weapon smashed into the back of his head.

~

Ryan woke up pressed against Jeremy. He hummed, snuggling his nose in Jeremy’s hair and breathing deeply. Jeremy gave a muffled grunting noise and Ryan started to wake up further. He tried to put an arm around Jeremy to stop his squirming, but he was handcuffed behind his back. And gagged. With Jeremy’s ass pressed against him. 

He moaned, eyelids fluttering. Jeremy made an annoyed sound and pushed his handcuffed hands into Ryan’s stomach. Ryan huffed. _What did you expect from me??_ Ryan glanced around, trying to get his bearings. 

_Trunk. We’re in a fucking trunk._ His head ached where it got smacked. _Baseball bat?_ He was lucky he could see. He shifted around, folding in on himself to get his hands in front of him. Before he could do anything, they bounced and he shouted as pain exploded through his skull. 

He huffed through the pain, swallowing down bile. The scent of Jeremy’s shampoo cut through the pain and he relaxed slightly. He smelled like pine trees. When Ryan’s head stopped spinning, he realized they were holding hands again. This time they held both hands tightly, each squeezing desperately. Ryan choked on a sob. _I would rather die together, than live apart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You: Don’t hurt my feels!  
> Me: Fuck yo feels!
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant or whatever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my bf who in response to me saying I worked really hard on a chapter perfectly summed up my writing process by saying “What’s hard about it? In, out, cum, cry, done.”

Ryan shakily tugged the gag off Jeremy’s head. He immediately regretted choosing to do that _first._

“You fucking idiot!” Jeremy hissed, “I told you to leave! Now look, you’re stuck in a fucking trunk! They’re going to kill us, you moron!”

Ryan sighed as he went for his own gag. Jeremy shifted around, muttering curses at him while he looped his cuffed hands under his feet to get them in front of him. Ryan grunted as he got the gag off, working his jaw as it dropped out of his mouth with a flood of drool.

“-listening to me?!” Jeremy was huffing.

“No, what’d you say?” Ryan muttered tiredly, “Duck your head down.”

Jeremy ducked his head down while Ryan yanked at the carpet. It came away too easily. _Shit, they probably removed the release cable._

“Why didn’t you just listen to me?!” Jeremy demanded, shifting his hands around in front of him, “We’re going to die!”

Ryan felt around for the cable. _Yep, they removed it._

“You don’t know that,” Ryan grunted, shifting to put his back to Jeremy, “And you’d have been in danger either way. I would’ve come for you again anyway.”

“Fuck!” Jeremy hissed as Ryan pushed against him, “Warn me!”

He turned, shifting back out of Ryan’s way. He jerked behind Ryan and moved his arms separately. Ryan squinted over his shoulder.

“How’d you do that?” He grunted as he brought his foot back.

“Like I’m gonna tell a criminal that,” Jeremy snorted.

“Well, how am I gonna get free?” Ryan huffed as he slammed his foot into the back seat.

“Break your fucking hand,” Jeremy suggested, “Pussy up, you fucking cuck.”

“Fuck,” Ryan hissed, going red, “Don’t get me hard, I’m trying to get us out of here!”

He reared back to stomp on the seat again.

_“Get_ you hard?” Jeremy snorted, “You’re already hard.”

“Sh-Shut up!” Ryan huffed, stomping again.

_They must’ve reinforced it._

“Switch sides,” he grunted.

After an awkward shuffling, Ryan went for the brake light. He tore at the plastic covering it and ripped the wires off. 

“Why didn’t you just leave me alone?” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan really didn’t want his love confession to be in a fucking trunk.

“Because I care about you,” he grunted, “I thought I made that pretty clear.”

Jeremy gripped his shirt tightly and pressed his forehead between his shoulder blades. Ryan stilled, heart aching.

“Don’t you understand?” Jeremy whispered, “If someone cares about me, then I can’t just continue being my okay self. I have to be better. I have to worry about being good enough.”

Ryan shifted around and awkwardly tugged Jeremy closer with his cuffed hands. Jeremy buried his face in Ryan’s chest.

“I know just saying it won’t change your whole state of being,” Ryan muttered, “But you are already good enough. How you are now is perfect. I don’t need you to be better, I just need you to be with me.”

“Ryan, stop trying to solve this,” Jeremy spoke in a tiny voice, “Just accept I’m too scared and too weak to do this.”

“I don’t want to just accept that,” Ryan huffed, “If you’re too scared and weak to do it, it’s okay, because you won’t be alone. I’m here too, Jeremy. We’ll be together and help each other.”

“I can’t have this,” Jeremy cried, “I just can’t let this happen.”

“You can, you’re allowed to be happy, Jeremy,” Ryan insisted.

“You’re assuming I’m happy with you,” Jeremy pointed out quietly.

The words shoved through Ryan like a Mortal Kombat fatality. 

“I...I’ve felt our connection,” He protested, voice weak, “I’ve seen you smiling at me. Y-You sang our song in your sleep an-and Geoff said you...”

Ryan felt himself suddenly shut down. He stared into the darkness of the trunk. _I knew it, he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t feel the same. I knew it, but...I’d started to hope._

“Ryan, it’s better this way,” Jeremy whispered, “It’s better if we’re apart.”

“Okay,” Ryan mumbled, “Okay.”

“Ry, I’m sorry,” Jeremy murmured.

Their hands were clasped again. How long had they been holding hands? Ryan felt despair suddenly sink into him. Of course. Had he truly believed anyone could love him? The sound of a siren drew his sluggish attention. The car pulled over. He tensed. Pigs pulling them over.

“The brake light,” Jeremy grunted, “They must be pulling them over for that.”

They heard the distant, muffled sound of a car door closing. 

“We should get their attention,” Ryan muttered.

He turned and slammed his foot into the top of the trunk. Jeremy punched the trunk and they yelled for help. A few minutes later, after some muffled shouting and what seemed to be the FunHaus guys getting arrested, the trunk opened and they were helped out. Ryan was extremely tense, but otherwise he felt hollow as the pigs took off their cuffs. 

“Uh, Anders, Dooley,” one of the pigs muttered, “I think...I think he’s the Vagabond.”

Ryan turned to look at the pig. They were holding up his mask and jacket. The FunHaus guys must’ve brought his clothes with them. 

“That’s probably one of theirs,” Jeremy argued.

“One of the FunHaus boys?” The pig scoffed, “Fakes and FunHaus don’t get along. You should know that.”

The other pigs pulled their guns on Ryan who swayed. He was so dizzy. It was too hard to stay standing so he sat down. 

“He got hit in the head,” Jeremy explained, “He isn’t in the condition to fight.”

Ryan’s vision was darkening. His head hurt. He decided to take a nap now that adrenaline wasn’t pumping through him. 

~

The FBI had descended on Ryan before the ER had finished ensuring he was stable for transport. He felt mostly fine now that he’d gotten some pain killers. A bit queasy and fuzzy, but mostly okay. Oh and of course he was about to die. 

They put him in a prison transport vehicle. Four agents were in the back with him plus the passenger and the driver. There was a car in front and a car behind. Ryan wasn’t getting out of this one very easily. He wished he could see Jeremy again before he was killed or imprisoned. 

“Don’t suppose you all are interested in last requests?” He muttered.

They ignored him and Ryan sighed heavily. _A cappella it is._ He began tapping his foot. Ryan sang his feelings. He’d done that for some time. It seemed fitting he should sing as he went to die. 

_ “I am a man of constant sorrow- _

_ “I've seen trouble all my days-“ _

The agents looked at each other in surprise.

_“I bid farewell to old Kentucky-_

_“The place where I was born and raised-_

_“The place where I was born and raised.”_

He was actually born and raised in Georgia, but close enough.

_ “For six long years I've been in trouble- _

_ “No pleasures here on earth I found-“ _

Six years, they’d been firmly ruling Los Santos, had he ever been happy?

_“For in this world I'm bound to ramble-_

_“I have no friends to help me now-_

_“I have no friends to help me now.”_

He squeezed his eyes closed as he thought of the crew. His family. All he had in the world.

_“It's fare thee well my old true lover-_

_“I never expect to see you again-“_

He wished he could’ve said a proper goodbye to Jeremy. Even if Jeremy didn’t want him, Ryan still loved him. 

_“For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad-_

_“Perhaps I'll die upon this train-_

_“Perhaps I’ll die upon this train.”_

He was most likely going to die.

_“You can bury me in some deep valley-_

_“For many years where I may lay-“_

No one would visit his grave. They couldn’t know where to go.

_ “Then you may learn to love another- _

_ “While I am sleeping in my grave _

_ “While I am sleeping in my grave.” _

He actually did hope Jeremy found someone else. He hoped the crew did too. He didn’t want them to not recruit because he died. They all deserved to be happy. Ryan may not have been, but he wasn’t so bitter as to not wish happiness for others. 

_“Maybe your friends think I'm just a stranger-_

_“My face, you'll never see no more-“_

Funny, he’d gone so long with the mask it was more his face than his real one, yet he was going to die without it.

_ “But there is one promise that is given- _

_ “I'll meet you on God's golden shore- _

_ “I’ll meet you on God's golden shore.” _

He really wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe they would all meet again. But he didn’t. He would die and cease to exist. The Vagabond would never be heard from again. _I’m sorry, Geoff. I told you I’d never leave your side..._

_ Thunk! _

Ryan looked up in alarm as something hit the side of the van.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk!_

The agents were all jerked back against the walls of the van by their equipment. _Magnets._ Ryan grinned. That had to be Gavin’s idea. The sound of screeching tires screamed from in front and behind them. Muffled curses seemed to indicate it was Michael and Geoff driving. _Of course they came for me. My family._

_Thump!_

Someone landed on the roof. He frowned. It was too heavy to be Gavin, too dense to be Jack. Who the hell? The agents were struggling around him. Pretty powerful magnets. Good thing they knew where he’d be so he wouldn’t get slammed against the van. Though he didn’t have that much metal on him. 

A laser cutter started up just above him, cutting a circle in the roof. The circle wasn’t closed and it was peeled back like a tin can. He caught a pair of bolt cutters and quickly freed himself. He stood on the seat and a hand was offered. He looked up to see Jeremy was attached to the hand. _He came for me too._ He grasped his hand and Jeremy pulled him out of the hole. 

“Don’t get that look, Ry!” He shouted over the wind, “This doesn’t mean anything!”

“No, it doesn’t,” Ryan agreed, “It means _everything!”_

“Just get in the fucking helicopter!” Jeremy ordered.

Ryan grinned as he grabbed the ladder. 

“I love you!” 

Jeremy looked startled and Ryan just laughed and ascended the ladder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow’s the last chapterrrrr.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for no reason.


	20. Chapter 20

Ryan grinned as his family swarmed him. Geoff got to him first, grabbing him and squeezing him to him so tightly Ryan thought he’d pop his spine.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he mumbled, squeezing back.

“Sh-Shut the hell up, you f-fucking tool,” Geoff choked.

Jack joined them, turning them into a Ryan sandwich and Ryan sniffled as Gavin and Michael joined. He was surrounded by his family.

“I love you,” He mumbled, “I’m sorry I never said it. I love you all.”

“We love you too,” Geoff returned, “Even if you are a fucking idiot.”

Ryan laughed and they all pulled away. They all started to chatter with each other and Ryan looked over to find Jeremy still in the helicopter. He was sitting at the door, legs dangling over the side as he watched the crew interacting. Ryan walked over and sat down next to him.

“Ry, you need to give up,” he murmured.

“How can I give up on true love?” Ryan joked.

Jeremy sighed, head dropping.

“All of this you’ve felt from me,” he muttered, “The affection, the care, the love, I’m not going to be able to actually give it. Even if I feel love for you, I won’t be able to let myself actually love you. I’m cold and broken, Ry. I don’t know how to be in a healthy relationship.”

“And you think I do?” Ryan snorted, “I don’t know how to do any of this, I just know it feels right. It feels like it’s meant to be this way.”

He put his hand over the one Jeremy had braced on the helicopter floor.

“I love you, Jeremy,” he muttered, “And even though you don’t feel the same, I’m not just going to quit. I’m the fucking Vagabond, do you really think I just give up because something is difficult?”

Jeremy sighed again.

“I don’t think you even love me as much as you think you do,” he grunted, “I think you’re mistaking the rush of having sex with the feeling of love.”

Ryan squeezed his hand tightly as anger surged through him.

“You really think I don’t know the difference?!” He growled, “I’m not that much of an idiot! You’re just making excuses because you don’t think anyone could truly, aren’t you? And you don’t want anyone to! You want to be meaningless because if you’re meaningless, you can die and be free of your misery without having to worry anyone will miss you.”

Jeremy abruptly stood, face twisted in a scowl and tears in his eyes.

“Y-You’re an asshole!” He cried, “Don’t you psychoanalyze me like you know shit about me! As if you should talk! You’re constantly hiding from me! How can you love someone and refuse to tell them anything about yourself?”

“I’m sorry I have paranoia!” Ryan snapped, “At least I didn’t run away like a little bitch when things got too real!”

_ Smack! _

Ryan reeled from the slap, touching his cheek as he looked up at Jeremy.

“I knew you were lying!” He sobbed, “How can you love me when you say these things to me?! You’re always hurting me! How can someone hurt the person they love?!”

“Jeremy, I’m s-“ Ryan started, reaching for him.

“No! Don’t touch me!” Jeremy shrieked, “Y-You’re a liar! Leave me alone!”

He stormed toward one of the cars and Ryan leapt up to follow him.

“Jeremy, wait!” He called, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

Jeremy got in the car and peeled out, leaving Ryan behind. Ryan clutched at his chest. _Fucking hell, I fucked it up again. I can’t do anything right!_ He jolted as Geoff squeezed his shoulder.

“Don’t give up, buddy,” he grunted, “You just need to show him how you feel. You need to be sincere so he can understand. It might take a few tries, but he’ll get it eventually.”

Ryan turned to him and buried his face in his shoulder. Geoff held him firmly as he cried. It had been a rough week. A rough life. He felt tired.

~

Ryan gripped the microphone and the stand in his sweaty hands. He’d tried just words, he tried actions. He needed now to try the way he’d expressed his emotions before. He needed to sing. He needed to call out through music, the way he had the day they’d met. The way he had before. He needed Jeremy to understand and this was the most successful method so far.

He looked at the booth where Jeremy was framed by B team members. He was looking at Ryan intently, seeming to be unperturbed by the criminals surrounding him. Ryan looked back at the others who all nodded encouragingly. 

That day, all of The Court of Blood members were on stage. He was glad. He never could’ve done it without them backing him up. He nodded and they began to play. He turned back forward, squeezing his eyes closed. His hands were shaking.

_“Little supernovas in my head-“_

_“Little soft pulses in my dead-_

_“Little souvenirs and secrets shared-_

_“Little off guard and unprepared-“_

He opened his eyes to look at Jeremy who was still staring intently.

_ “I was never good enough to find- _

_ “I was never bad enough to mind- _

_ “In the middle I will do my best- _

_ “Take me in your arms and leave the rest.” _

Jeremy’s face twisted like he was in pain.

_“I will give you anything to-_

_“Say you want to stay, you want me too-_

_“Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me._

_“I want to know I belong to you-_

_“Say you'll haunt me!”_

Michael took over the scream vocals while Ryan mouthed the words.

** _“Together, together we'll be together, together forever!”_ **

Ryan squeezed the mic tighter. _Please, I need you to understand._ Jeremy looked pale and shaky. 

_ “Little variations on my page- _

_ “Little doors open on my cage- _

_ “Little time has come and gone so far- _

_ “Little by little who you are-“ _

Jeremy was crying. Ryan’s heart tightened like a knot in his chest. His voice weakened.

_“I can see the patterns on your face-_

_“I can see the miracles I trace-_

_“Symmetry in shadows I can't hide-_

_“I just want to be right by your side.”_

Jeremy’s crying brought tears to his own eyes and he choked.

_“I will give you everything to-_

_“Say you want to stay, you want me too-_

_“Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me-_

_“I want to know I belong to you-_

_“Say you'll haunt me.”_

Jeremy suddenly leapt up, dodging B team and slid over the table. Ryan felt his body tense further. _No! Please!_

_“Say you want to stay, you want me too-_

_“Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me.”_

Jeremy ran through the crowd.

_“I want to know I belong to you-_

_“Say you'll haunt me.”_

Michael took over again as Ryan mouthed the words, watching Jeremy push through the crowd.

_**“Together, together we'll be together, together forever!”** _

_“I belong to you!”_ Ryan sang, hand dropping from the mic.

_**“Together, together we'll be together, together forever!”** _

_“I belong to you!”_ He sang again as Jeremy stopped in front of the stage.

_He heard me calling out._ Jeremy reached for him and Ryan was pulled to him like a magnet. _He came when I called out for him, just like before._ Ryan took his outstretched hand as Geoff took up lead vocals behind him.

_“Little supernovas in my head-_

_“Little soft pulses in my dead-“_

Jeremy helped him off the stage.

_“Little souvenirs and secrets shared-_

_“Little off guard and unprepared-“_

Ryan felt weak as Jeremy pulled him close. _Please._

_“I will give you anything to-_

_“I will give you everything to-_

_“Say you want to stay, you want me too-_

_“Say you'll never die you'll always haunt me-“_

Jeremy’s hands framed his face gently. _Please._

_“I want to know I belong to you-_

_“Say you'll haunt me-_

_“Say you want to stay, you want me too-“_

Jeremy pulled him in, looking deep into his eyes, deep into his very soul. _Please._

_“Say you'll never die you'll always haunt me-_

_“I want to know I belong to you-_

_“Say you'll haunt me!”_

_Jeremy, please._

_**“Together, together we'll be together, together forever!”** _

_“I belong to you!”_

Jeremy pressed their lips together.

_**“Together, together we'll be together, together forever!”** _

_“I belong to you!”_

Jeremy pulled back as the song was ending.

“I love you too.”

~

Jeremy insisted on Ryan making good on his promise to teach him to fight. Ryan didn’t mind that. In fact he wanted to teach him to defend himself better. What he minded was fighting was foreplay for them and he worried he’d end up getting fucked instead of teach him anything. This was a thought reaffirmed when Jeremy appeared before him with no sleeves and half his pants missing. 

“Where are your clothes?” Ryan muttered.

Jeremy snorted in sudden laughter.

“These are my gym clothes, ya dork,” he teased, “Did you think I wore my work clothes to get these guns?”

He flexed, sticking his tongue out. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Just get in a fight stance,” he grumbled.

They squared off and Jeremy got a very adorable focused face on. _Ack, my heart!_ Ryan had to actually shake his head to focus. 

“Hey, you should teach me too,” He suggested brightly, “Now that you’re also a criminal, you can show me how you got out of those handcuffs.”

“I’m still a cop,” Jeremy pointed out, “Just a dirty one.”

“Yeah, you are,” Ryan teased, grinning.

Jeremy went red and looked away. Ryan struck, sending a jab to his sternum. Jeremy barely got his arm up to deflect it in time.

“Lesson 1,” He reminded him.

“Lesson 2,” Jeremy sneered back.

A muzzle pressed against Ryan’s rib cage. Ryan’s heartbeat skyrocketed.

“Fucking Christ, I love you,” He huffed.

Jeremy blushed, pulling away.

“I-I love you too,” he mumbled.

He was still working on expressing his positive emotions. He was adorable. They got back into fighting stances. 

“Okay, you need to do your best to dodge,” Ryan instructed, “The most important part of fighting is not fighting. So don’t do any counters, just dodge.”

Jeremy nodded, getting his cute focused face back on. He blocked the hook to his head and the uppercut with a grunt. He stepped back as Ryan pressed him and moved sideways away from Ryan’s repeating jabs. He ducked another hook and instinctively jabbed at Ryan’s guts. Ryan grunted in annoyance.

“S-Sorry!” Jeremy sputtered, “It was instinct!”

“Tell that to my destroyed stomach,” Ryan huffed, rubbing his belly, “But good job, it looks like you’re not pulling your punches any more. Let’s actually spar then, I want to see what you can do with all that power.”

Jeremy grinned wickedly and Ryan’s soft workout clothes did nothing to hide what that did to him. They reset their positions and Ryan nodded for Jeremy to strike first. He jabbed, which Ryan blocked with a forearm only to sway backward from the force of it. 

In the middle of realizing even _he_ had underestimated Jeremy, the man sent an uppercut toward his ribs. Ryan sidestepped to avoid it and swung toward his head. Jeremy ducked it and pitched forward, tackling him to the ground. Ryan wheezed as he immediately flipped them. He straddled Jeremy and went to punch him in the face. Jeremy grabbed his fist, holding as he struggled under him.

Ryan suddenly melted, face softening as he leaned closer. Jeremy’s struggling weakened as Ryan’s face approached his. His eyes flicked to Ryan’s lips and his eyelids drooped. Ryan pressed the knife more firmly against his throat. 

“Lesson 3: Use every tool at your disposal,” he muttered, “Even the non-lethal ones.”

“Who says a kiss from you wouldn’t be deadly?” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan pressed his lips to Jeremy’s. The moment seemed to still, solidifying in Ryan’s mind and memory. He realized suddenly that the hand not holding the knife was holding Jeremy’s, clasped together as he pinned it above his head. And Jeremy’s free hand was on his throat. 

There it was, a single frame of their lives that would forever define what they were. At each other’s throats, sure, but also holding each other’s hands. Whatever the world made them outside meant nothing, because right there, that single moment, _that_ was what they really were. As their lips parted, they opened their eyes and Ryan could see that Jeremy had felt it too. Could feel it now, coursing through his veins as Ryan did. 

Ryan dropped the knife and took his face in both hands to kiss him again. Jeremy’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Their lips moved together like the flow of a tide pulling back and forth. 

Jeremy sat up enough that they could frantically tug at their clothes between kissing, hardly parting for more than a few seconds. Ryan felt high, buzzed, alive. Their sweaty bodies moving together, hands running all over each other, lips mouthing at each other. 

“Jeremy, I-I need you,” Ryan huffed, “Please, I-I need you so bad!”

Jeremy stuck his fingers in Ryan’s mouth and Ryan coated them in as much saliva as he could manage. It was going to hurt so badly. Jeremy kissed and mouthed at his chest while his shaking fingers pressed inside Ryan. Ryan groaned and rocked against his hand. He didn’t wait for Ryan to tell him when he was ready, like he already knew. 

Ryan bit his lip as he sank down on Jeremy’s cock. Jeremy’s hands ran up his thighs and he shuddered. Ryan rolled his hips, groaning. Jeremy kept mouthing at his chest. Unable to reach much higher than that. He licked and sucked at Ryan’s nipples as he put an arm around him to roll his hips up into him. 

“Fuck, Ry,” He murmured breathlessly, “You l-look so beautiful.”

Ryan blushed, squeezing his eyes closed. _No, please don’t lie to me. Even if they are such sweet delusions._

“Ryan, look at me,” Jeremy grunted.

A flood of a tears dripped down Ryan’s face as he obeyed. Jeremy’s eyes were like fire burning Ryan up as they stared into his. He cupped Ryan’s face with his hands.

“I mean it,” he whispered, “You are so goddamn beautiful.”

Ryan’s hand pulled Jeremy’s off his face and they clasped together. Jeremy was moving faster now and Ryan was so hot, so breathless, he couldn’t think straight. He wrapped his free hand around his own dick as they both neared their climax. Jeremy’s face drew up tightly, teeth baring in a growl as his eyes squeezed closed.

“S-so are you,” Ryan groaned, breathless, “Y-you’re beautiful.”

Jeremy groaned, his hips jerking sharply as heat flooded Ryan. Ryan moaned, body tightening around Jeremy as he shuddered. Ryan cried out Jeremy’s name as he came all over his torso. Jeremy pulled down his head to kiss him while he ran shaking hands over his shoulders and arms. 

“I-is this real?” He murmured, “Tell me this is real.”

“It’s real, darlin’,” Ryan assured him, “It’s the realest thing in existence.”

Their foreheads stayed pressed together as they caught their breath. Ryan never wanted to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the end! I told y’all it’d be happy! Tune in tomorrow for the new story about priest Jeremy and demon Ryan or else you can follow me @1stworldmutant to find how to donate and get the chapters a day early! Well, that’s all folks! As always, may your paths stay lit, little stars✨!
> 
> Edit: Forgot to mention the song is Say You’ll Haunt Me by Stone Sour


End file.
